One of the things that I’ve had to endure over the years is the constant talking over
I’ve had many instances of being written off and ignored.
In the past I had always hoped that I was just misunderstanding.
But often it’s not.
People have said that I don’t exert myself enough.
One of the most startling episodes of this was when we had an outside management company managing the physical plant at the hospital where I work.
When I started working at the hospital in 2005 I re-opened the welding shop. No one had the ability to weld since the last person with welding experience left. So I started welding. One of the managers would absolutely refuse to ask me to do any type of welding work for him even though there were lots of projects. The other manager blamed this on my “flamboyance” and that I was flaunting it too much?
I was thinking to myself “what the fuck?”
I wasn’t yet out of the closet.
But then again at that point in time it was almost 10 years since a Vancouver Police Department officer wrote my mugging off as a “gay trick gone bad”.
And then I started to realize that a lot of what I had been through in life up to that point in life was due to some sort of “queer vibe” that I had exhibited.
To this date I’ve never figured out what this “vibe” was. But it must have been noticeable.
Was this the same vibe that put me in the sights of Captain McRae and his teenaged accomplice?
Was this the same “vibe” that got the shit beat out of me numerous times at school because I “walked like a girl”, “didn’t have a girlfriend”, “looked like a faggot”?
Was this the same vibe that attracted numerous adult men to me for sexual favours while I was under 16?
Was this the same vibe that caused another manager that I worked for to constantly refer to me as “Freddie Mercury” and to constantly remind me that gay sex leads to AIDs.
Was this the same vibe that caused the son of a company in St. Albert, Alberta to exclaim that there’s no place for fags at his father’s company?
Was this the same vibe that caused Ed from Classic Billiards to poke and prod me to admit that I had a same sex attraction?
Is this the same vibe that allows service contractors and vendors to ignore me even when I’m the one who called them in for service?
It’s so much fun at work dealing with contractors who ignore you and instead start talking to someone else who has no idea of what’s going on or what the service call is about.
But Bobbie, you’re the Chief Engineer!
Surely people have to take you seriously?
No.
Things are great when I’m communicating via email.
Things go off the rails when I deal with people face to face.
It’s those “queer vibes” apparently.
And in the macho “trades” field that I find myself in, these “queer vibes” are an outright turn-off to a lot of guys.
The only reason that I’m at where I’m at is my knowledge, my skills, and my abilities.
There are numerous people over the years who would have gladly destroyed me because of my “vibe”.
And I know it’s that “vibe”.
The was one guy at the hospital that used to turn to me for advice and knowledge and help with getting projects done.
But after management was brought back in house an I was promoted to the non-management position of Chief Engineer which allowed me to dress more appropriately for my gender identity, his opinion of me soured to the point where he was sticking a knife in my back on almost a weekly basis.
And I have absolutely no doubts that if I were to meet some of my previous co-workers and employers that their opinions of me and their attitudes towards me would change drastically from what they were before.
Yeah, okay, fine.
In the last couple of years I’ve switched over to dresses, I do my nails, and I’m more often than not in heels.
Does that make my knowledge worth any less?
Apparently so.
VPD Constable Gil Puder
VPD constable Gil Puder was the investigator assigned to my mugging.
I was working the Tuesday through Saturday 14:00 to 22:00 shift at the bowling centre that I worked at.
If I left work at 22:00 sharp, I could make it downtown to watch the late shows at either the Famous Players Capitol 6 or the Cineplex Granville 7.
This fateful weekend I went to see a movie called “Congo” at the Capitol 6. I’ve covered the mugging elsewhere, so I won’t get into the details.
But, the end result is even though I had located a video tape that showed me, my two assailants, and what triggered the mugging, VPD constable Gil Puder refused to pick up the video tape or to even just go and view the video tape and speak to the theatre manager.
Gil Puder told me right to my face that until I admitted the “truth”, that I had picked this guy up in a bar and that this was a “trick gone bad”, that he wasn’t going to help.
So, there never was an investigation.
Puder defended.
A few years later when I had moved into commercial property management one of the plumbers that worked for us knew Gil Puder.
This plumber and I were having coffee at a local coffee shop discussing some upcoming projects that I had for him.
This revelation only came up because the plumber used to play ice hockey with Puder and Puder had just died due to a brain tumour.
I asked the plumber if this Gil Puder that he played hockey with had been a VPD officer, the plumber said that yes, Gil had been a VPD officer.
I gave the plumber my opinion of Puder and explained to him what caused me to have this opinion of Puder.
The plumber seemed quite taken aback and then the plumber started to justify what Puder had opined.
“Bob, you gotta admit, you don’t have a girlfriend or a wife, and you don’t exactly come across as a ladies man”, and “Look at it from Gil’s point of view, you got mugged on Burrard at Georgia, the gays are down on Burrard and Davie, so what else what Gil supposed to conclude?”
There was also a general contractor that was used frequently that did tenant and building renovations.
I was the first power engineer that had ever worked for this employer, as such there was now a requirement to adhere to provincial and municipal codes. And this caused quite a row between the contractors and I. They were now required to pull permits for electrical, plumbing, construction, demolition, and asbestos abatement.
The general contractor would often wait until it was just him and I with no one else around and then he’d unleash on me with every homophobic slur and stereotype.
When I’d go talk to the general manager about this, the GM would talk to the contractor, and the contractor would profusely deny that he had said anything.
Thick skin.
It took me years to grow a thick enough skin to ignore these opinions of my worth.
And as much as I am able to ignore them in the modern day, the problem is they still have the ability to cause me to endure significant issues.
Employment is something that I can’t just up and change if I wanted to.
Do you have any idea how long it took to work up the confidence to start dressing the way that I wanted to and to even start on hormone therapy?
Do you realize how severely I have limited my future?
In 1980 the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service investigated Captain McRae for having committed “Acts of Homosexuality” with young children on Canadian Forces Base Namao. At the time “homosexuality” was viewed as a “victimless crime”. That tarred and feathered everyone involved with Captain McRae as a “homosexual”.
This is why I spent time in the care of Captain Terry Totzke receiving “help” with my “homosexuality” that I had exhibited.
In 2011 the CFNIS conducted an investigation into the actions of the babysitter.
As I’ve said elsewhere, the CFNIS had in their possession both the CFSIU investigation paperwork and the courts martial transcripts. The existence of which the CFNIS withheld from the MPCC and the Federal Court of Canada.
They knew what Captain McRae had been charged with, and they knew that it was the investigation of the babysitter for molesting numerous young children on base that triggered the investigation of Captain McRae.
But the CFNIS in 2011 would have been exposed to a report that was written back in 1980 when the attitude was that Captain McRae, the babysitter, and all of the other kids involved were “homosexuals” with perverted minds willingly participating in the victimless crime of homosexual sex.
Is this why the 2011 CFNIS investigation was such an abysmal failure?
They had the CFSIU investigation paperwork and the court martial transcripts that implicated the babysitter in the direct molestation of young children, but the CFNIS still had the audacity to call me a liar.
Anyways, enough for now.
Gotta get ready to catch my bus back to Vancouver.
Beeshive 