November 2022 – Beeshive

Here I talk a bit about my involvement as a child with Canadian Armed Forces military social worker Captain Terry Totzke.

Captain Totzke was convinced that I was a homosexual because of what I had been found doing with the babysitter on Canadian Forces Base Namao.

My father bought into Terry’s horseshit.

I’m not sure if Richard bought Terry’s horseshit because Terry was a captain and Richard was a master corporal, or if Richard bought into Terry’s horseshit because Richard couldn’t accept responsibility for his sons being sexually abused for 1-1/2 years on a military base due to his refusal to raise his own children.

Either way, I still bear the scars from Terry’s “treatment” and my father’s decision to go along with Terry’s treatments.

These treatments in the modern day would amount to “conversion therapy”.

This conversion therapy has caused substantial damage in my life.

Also, as Terry was more concerned with the “homosexuality” I had apparently exhibited when I was sexually molested for 1-1/2 years, I didn’t receive any treatment for the major depression, severe anxiety, or other personality disorders I had exhibited as a result of the sexual abuse.

So, it wasn’t just the “conversion therapy” that caused me issues, it was the lack of treatment for issues that I had been diagnosed as having.

There is no modern day treatment that will erase this.

This shit will be with me until the day I die.