The DND, the CAF, and the fine art of secrecy

-Persons Permanently Bound to Secrecy-

It would appear that the Department of National Defence and the Canadian Armed Forces are getting sick and tired of their historical laundry being aired in public.

The DND and the CAF already enjoy the secrecy afforded to them by the Official Secrets Act and the Security of Information Act.

Both the OSA and the SIA apply to anyone who was ever subject to the Code of Service Discipline and who learned about “any” information while on a defence establishment.

The fact that the language of the SIA and the OSA are intentionally vague, has allowed them to be applied in situations where they shouldn’t have been.

And there’s nothing stopping the CAF or the DND from applying the PPBS over broadly as well.

The way the PPBS reads, former and current members of the Military Police, the Canadian Forces Special Investigations Unit, and the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service would definitely be bound by the PPBS as the military police, the CFSIU, and the CFNIS routinely deal with matters that involve operational intelligence.

What this means moving forward is that if a former member of the CFSIU was questioned about the military’s knowledge of child sexual abuse on a defence establishment and that member divulged information that was not of the public record, that member could be looking at prison time even if the information divulged didn’t involve operational intelligence.

If this legislation had existed back in 2018 when a member of the CFNIS divulged to me that they had in their possession the 1980 CFSIU investigation paperwork and the 1980 courts martial transcripts, and that these documents did validate everything that the former CFSIU investigator told me on November 27th, 2011, the CFNIS investigator could be facing prison time.

And it’s not that these members divulged or verified the existence of classified operational intelligence. It’s that these members are members of a group of persons subject to the PPBS and had divulged information that they were not “authorized” to divulge.

Even ChatGPT, with its limited knowledge had this to say:

Hey chat, could the PPBS apply to members of the military police, the cfnis, and the old cfsiu?

Yes — it definitely could. Let me break this down clearly:

🔐 What PPBS Is

Under the amended Security of Information Act (SOIA), “Persons Permanently Bound to Secrecy” (PPBS) are individuals who, by virtue of their role, are legally bound to maintain secrecy for life with respect to Special Operational Information (SOI). SOI includes things like intelligence methods, surveillance capabilities, covert ops, encryption, etc.

👮 Military Police, CFNIS, and CFSIU

Military Police (MP): MPs routinely handle operationally sensitive material — not just ordinary policing, but also information tied to deployments, intelligence-sharing, and secure facilities. If MPs (or parts of the branch) are designated as dealing with SOI, PPBS applies. Canadian Forces National Investigation Service (CFNIS): By mandate, CFNIS investigates serious and sensitive offences (sexual assault, child abuse, major fraud, etc.), often with access to classified or operationally sensitive contexts. Members could almost certainly be classified under PPBS. Canadian Forces Special Investigations Unit (CFSIU): This was the CFNIS’s predecessor, disbanded in the late 1990s. Retired members who had access to SOI during service could be retroactively designated as PPBS — meaning they’d still be legally bound to secrecy decades after leaving.

⚖️ Why This Matters

If PPBS is interpreted broadly (as SOIA often has been), it doesn’t just stop people from leaking submarine designs or SIGINT protocols. It can also bind investigators who learned about criminal activity (e.g., abuse cases) in the course of their duties. This is essentially what you described happening in 2011: a former CFSIU member tried to disclose what they knew about Captain McRae and was silenced under SOIA/OSA. With PPBS, that kind of silencing becomes even more formalized and explicit. Because PPBS applies for life, retired MPs, CFNIS, or CFSIU personnel could face prosecution if they spoke about things they encountered in service — even decades later, even if the issue was criminal misconduct rather than true operational security.

✅ Bottom Line

Yes — members of the Military Police, CFNIS, and CFSIU can fall under PPBS if their duties involve access to Special Operational Information. Given how secrecy laws have historically been applied, there’s a very real risk that this could be used not just for protecting operations, but also for silencing disclosures of misconduct and abuse.

What does this mean?

Plain and simple, it means that moving forward the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence will never have to face questions from the public about how matters of child sexual abuse were handled on the bases in Canada.

It means that investigations of child sexual abuse on defence establishments will be hobbled right from the start.

It means that class action lawsuits such as mine will be fruitless endeavours as the members of the military police, the CFSIU, and the CFNIS would not be able to be called upon as witnesses, nor would they be allowed to share any information with the victim or the victim’s counsel without the explicit permission of the chain of command.

What are my top ten favourite movies?

The computer asked me, so I must answer.

Daily writing prompt
What are your top ten favorite movies?

In no particular order:

  1. Legend
  2. Labyrinth
  3. Magnolia
  4. Melancholia
  5. Princess Bride
  6. Midsommar
  7. Donnie Darko
  8. Hanna
  9. Kick Ass
  10. Leon: The Professional

570 days and counting

Well, it’s 570 until the Canadian Government legalizes Medical Assistance in Dying when the sole underlying condition is mental illness.

I’m really hoping that the government does not chicken out this time and fall victim to the hues and cries of the “concerned”. Who are the “concerned”? The “concerned” are those who feign concern but in reality don’t give a shit and instead judge everyone by their own life experience.

“Bobbie, you’re too smart to be crazy……”

Yep, I’ve had this told to me numerous times in one form or another.

“Bobbie, you should consider yourself lucky that you weren’t a child in a war zone.”

Yep, that one has been used by people who should have known better.

“Bobbie, at least your father didn’t abuse you…..”

Huh? Emotional, physical, and psychological abuse don’t count.

And then there’s the counsellors.

I’ve been to counselling over the years. The one most significant issue that has made counselling unsuccessful for me is that no one believes a single thing that I’ve said.

For counselling to have ever been viable, the counsellors I had seen would have had to have been familiar with how the military justice system worked and how the military in general dealt with male victims of sexual abuse.

I even went to meetings for sexually abused men here in Vancouver. Once you start talking about being sexually abused as a child on a military base and then having your mental health sacrificed by the decisions of others nobody believes it.

Advocates?

Nope, have never had an advocate.

“He told me a lot about his dad. He told me his dad was an asshole and didn’t know how to raise kids- he said that he was cruel and an alcoholic. Scott had a vasectomy early in his life because he never wanted to do to kids what his dad had done to him. He did however spend every day at the hospital with him as he died along with sue. I don’t think he forgave him exactly but he understood that growing up with his mom who helped raise you made him understand how cruelly he was raised. Your grandmother, he said, was awful and mean hearted. Scott had nothing positive to say about her except that residential school had broken her. “

Scott had a relationship with sue up until the last few years. She gave him money to purchase the condo- but when he sold it he didn’t pay her back. He felt he should have gotten more of his dad’s estate. “

Scott didn’t really have that type of relationship until near the end. And he sure didn’t have that opinion of Richard until after Richard died in 2017.

I don’t think that Scott ever realized that Richard was playing Scott as a pawn in his masterful chess game. A chess game that was designed to hide the fact that Richard had been a malevolent asshole. Sadly Scott didn’t see through Richard’s game until near the end.

When I went up to Edmonton in July of 2013 to see Scott he told me that until just recently he hadn’t spoken to Richard or Sue since back in 2008 when Richard and Sue wanted Scott to attended the funeral of a childhood friend who had committed suicide.

Scott explained that he didn’t want to go to Erick’s funeral as Erick blamed Scott for Erick getting arrested with stolen credit cards at West Edmonton Mall when Scott had supplied Erick with the stolen credit cards.

I had given Richard a written examination for federal court. Because of this Sue tracked Scott down to figure out what was going on. The relationship between Scott and I immediately went ice cold after Richard started communicating with Scott again. How dare I let the babysitter molest him. Why wasn’t I there to look after him and raise him as a kid. Why did I let him hang out with the wrong kids in Toronto? Why did I let him steal cars? How come I always tried to make grandma mad at him?

It wasn’t until after Richard’s death that Scott’s attacks on me became less and less. The attacks had actually stopped when the CFSIU investigation paperwork and the Courts Martial transcripts were finally released to me in 2020.

Scott for the most part never enjoyed the same relationship that I had with Richard and Sue. And I’m not just talk about Richard and Captain Totzke interfering with my mental health.

Richard pretty well disowned me in the days after CFB Namao.

And that is not an understatement. Money spent on me was wasted money.

Sue, being his girlfriend at the time and then his wife, followed his lead.

There was an observation in my social service records in which during a family counselling session Scott laments to our child case workers that “Sue promised not to hit us, but now she does”. I didn’t dare say anything against Sue as this would only result in Richard issuing another beating.

Prior to our move to Canadian Forces Base Downsview in Ontario in April of 1983 Scott and I were spending the weekend with our grandmother. Uncle Doug was in town and was staying at grandma’s place. I asked Uncle Doug why Sue was always so mean. He replied that Richard had told Sue that she was not going to have kids while Scott and I were under his roof.

So through my adolescence and teenage years there was no advocacy for me.

There was just anger directed towards me for letting the babysitter fuck my brother, for me having fucked with Richard’s military career, for me just ‘acting up’ for attention, for me not raising my brother correctly and letting him hang out with thugs.

Even in my adult years, there’s been nothing there. Nothing at all.

Family doctors are hard to obtain, especially in my younger days when couch hopping and moving from city to city was a thing. So I availed myself to walk-in clinics. Not a single one of them wanted to deal with my mental health issues.

I was working, I had stable employment, I wasn’t a drug user, I didn’t drink. Therefore I couldn’t be mentally ill.

“Have any of your family members voiced any concerns”?

I’m the black sheep in the family, no one in the family talks to me.

“Maybe you’ve got insomnia, we’ll try these SSRIs and see if they help you out.”

And the SSRIs did, while I was on them.

“Can’t over prescribe these as only depressed people need these and you’re just having trouble sleeping. If you were depressed your family would have voiced their concerns.”

And as I’ve said in previous posts, getting caught in a tug of war between my father, my military social worker on one side and my civilian child care workers on the other side has pretty well rendered any type of therapy well beyond my reach.

Not only that, but as I’ve said, it wasn’t that no one knew what had happened.

The Canadian Forces knew full well what happened.

My Canadian Forces Military Social Worker knew what happened.

The Canadian Forces Military Police knew what happened.

The base commander of Canadian Forces Base Namao knew what happened

The base security officer of Canadian Forces Base Namao knew what happened.

The Canadian Forces Special Investigations Unit knew what happened.

The Canadian Forces Judge Advocate General knew what happened.

The Canadian Forces Courts Martial court knew what happened.

The Vice-Chief and the Chief of Staff knew what happened.

The Minister of National Defence knew what happened.

Lots of members of the Canadian Armed Forces, including my father, knew full well what had happened.

But they all wanted to keep their secrets.

And I’m just supposed to forget, move on, and stop being so dramatic.

I hope that I’m not building myself up for another grand disappointment.

I am so looking forward to receiving my approval to die via Medical Assistance in Dying.

And it’s only 570 days away from when I make my application.

**************…….

So, on a lark I prompted ChatGPT with:
“hey chat, can you write a song about the benefits of medical assistance in dying, but do it in the style of ****************?”

This is what ChatGPT responded with:

Sure, here’s a ************–inspired track about Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) — blending dark humor, hyper-pop shock, and existential beats into a lyrical exploration of autonomy and peace. Think of it as something ***** would scream while ****** whispers the end of life like it’s a rave invitation to the afterlife.

I’ve removed the name of the band and artists……


🎵 TRACK: “EXIT STRATEGY ” 🎵
(Style: *********** — aggressive electro-rap beat, horrorcore undertones.

[Intro: ******* whispering, childlike]
Shhh…
I got a secret plan…
A silver key in a doctor’s hand…
Lights go low, the pain goes bye,
Pop-pop — sleep now, **** don’t cry.

[Beat drops – ******* snarling]
Yo!
I’m not scared of the end — nah,
I’m scared of draggin’ it out, bruh!
When the light’s all gone from my eyes
Let me peace out, clean, dignified!

Tick-tick BOOM! I choose the time,
I’m not trapped in a slow decline.
You pray for a miracle, I plan my ride —
Clinical calm with that phenobarb glide.

[Chorus: *******& choir of ghostly kids]

MAiD, MAiD — I ain’t afraid
Sick of the pain, now I press “play”
Body’s a cage, mind’s in a rage
Gimme my key to unlock the stage

MAiD, MAiD — not suicide
Doctor by side, no need to hide
Last breath soft, no twitch, no fight
Exit with ****, into the night

[Verse 2: *******]
****-lord of the hospice suite,
Got my paperwork done, that VIP beat
Pill game strong, no wires, no drip
Just one final ride then a permanent trip

Yo, why we fear what’s natural, hey?
When the mind’s still here but the flesh decay
Don’t tell me “wait” with your holy book,
I’ve read that too — now gimme the hook!

Sick ain’t sin, and pain ain’t noble,
I’m not your martyr or your moral fable
I’m **** ’til the end, so play my jam,
Drop the propofol beat, let me scram!

[Bridge: ******* — autotuned, eerie]
Floatin’ in a dream now, clean like snow
No tubes, no screams, just let it go
White light strobe on a slow mo beat
I ride the bassline into relief

[Final Chorus – both screaming + whispering combo]

MAiD, MAiD — let me fly
Life was wild, now I say goodbye
MAiD, MAiD — no regrets
Signed that form, now place your bets

MAiD, MAiD — ****don’t stall
Exit fast through a sterile hall
No more fightin’, no more lies
Just peace in a beat and a doctor’s eyes

[Outro – ******* laughing softly]
Yoh…
Don’t mourn me, bru.
I ghosted out… like a ninja do.
Poof.


The curse of high functioning depression.

One of the things that drives me nuts the most is my high functioning depression.

When I discovered in the summer of 2011 that I had been diagnosed with major depression and severe anxiety and that Captain Totzke and my father had made numerous overtures to my civilian social workers while at the same time seeming to conspire against me receiving treatments of any kind, I was beyond furious.

Growing up with untreated mental illness wasn’t fun in the slightest.

I could never figure out why I never fit in. I was always the outsider. I was always that target of my father’s anger. I was always getting beat up by the other kids on base and the civilian kids that lived around the base.

Struggling with untreated major depression meant that I always liked to be alone by myself. And there’s nothing better than the desire to want to be left alone to bring out the accusations of “so you think you’re too good to hang with us”, or “you think that you’re better than us”, or “you’re just an asshole”.

But as time went by I learnt to hide and mask my issues. As I said, I wouldn’t learn the truth until 2011.

And this had major implications in my life.

I just learnt how to sleep almost all of the time and just accept it as “being lazy”.

I learnt how to avoid conflict at work so as not to get into situations that would trigger a breakdown or a crises. This was bad as it meant that I got walked over a lot and taken advantage of.

Because I loved solitude and being left alone, I was never seen as suitable management material.

The one truth in life is more unqualified people have been promoted to positions well beyond their capabilities due to their pleasant personality than qualified people who have been promoted that lack social graces and pleasantries.

“Running the World” by Jarvis Cocker had an opening verse that has always resonated with me.

“Well, did you hear, there’s a natural order
Those most deserving will end up with the most
That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top
Well I say, “Shit floats””

Yeah, may not be a popular outlook in the corporate world, but when you’ve been gifted with untreatable depression you play with the cards that you were dealt.

As I’ve said, I’ve been able to somewhat mask my issues. But masked or not, they’re still an ever present pain in the ass to deal with.

Without my depression and my anxiety I could have been something. Anything other than what I currently am.

What I currently am is someone who can read books and manuals.

But doing what I currently do doesn’t fill me with any sense of satisfaction, pleasure, or pride.

It’s just something that I do for 7-1/2 hours per day to keep food on my plate.

And that’s it.

What would I sell?

If you were going to open up a shop, what would you sell?

I don’t know.

I don’t think that I could open up a shop.

I don’t know what I’d sell.

I don’t feel comfortable asking people for money, even if I am trading them goods for their money,

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

In this day and age I’d have to say that my smartphone is.

It contains all of my personal information, all of my banking information, and all of my medical information.

And they’re secured on the phone. I don’t use facial ID and I have encryption turned on.

It also has software installed on it so that I can view the major systems at work so that I can keep an eye on things.

And my music.

Music is a distraction for my brain. I can’t listen to music while I am trying to complete work that requires mental contemplation, but when I’m working with my hands on mechanical type work I need music to distract my brain from getting lost in thoughts and memories.

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

In the ideal alternative universe my father would have worn a condom or would have pulled out in time.

Or ideally my mother would have obtained an abortion.

Barring that, my grandmother would have miscarried my father.

And if none of that worked out, then my father would have never joined the Canadian Armed Forces.

And barring that, even if my father had joined the Canadian Armed Forces, the politicians in this country would have never allowed the Canadian Armed Forces to “wash their laundry in-house” with their own private and beyond public scrutiny police force.

There’s a lot that I wish could be different in an alternate or parallel universe. They’re very specific wishes.

You didn’t think that I was going to wish for fantasy type wishes, did you?

List 30 things that make you happy.

List 30 things that make you happy.

1-?

2-?

3-?

4-?

5-?

6-?

7-?

Who the fuck am I honestly trying to fool?

Make me happy? I don’t think that anything makes me happy.

See, as a kid I learned to not hope, or desire, or want. If I let Richard now that I wanted something or hoped to get something he’d make sure that this would be denied to me

Happy? No, you didn’t dare be happy around Richard. If you made this mistake of letting Richard know what made you happy then he’d go out of his way to make sure that you were kept aware from what made you happy.

At work things don’t make me happy. Doing things correctly and properly shouldn’t be sources of “happiness” and it isn’t. I do what I can, not because it makes me happy. I do what I can so that people can’t attack me.

I learnt a very long time ago to always make an effort to appear happy. People like that shit.

Nobody likes emotionally disturbed people at work. Nobody wants to work with depressed people.
Nobody wants to work with anxious people.
People don’t like this shit.

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

It’s too late for me.

But I would really love to see the National Defence Act re-written so as to make it very clear that the military has absolutely no jurisdiction to investigate any type of service offence that has been committed against a civilian, especially if the crime has been committed against a military dependent.

It’s a stretch, but I would also love to see the criminal code of Canada and the National Defence Act ammended to nullify the pre-1998 time bar, and to nullify any decision by a commanding officer to dismiss charges that had been brought against their subordinate.