Okay, so I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but the justice reviewing the certification portion of my class action against the Canadian Armed Forces has agreed that the class action has merit to proceed.
The justice has also stated that I am okay to be the representative plaintiff.
I don’t know if the Department of Justice and the Canadian Armed Forces will try to appeal these decisions. I don’t know if they will be allowed to appeal. So I’ll have to wait and see.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt in my life it’s that nothing usually goes as planned.
Maybe it’s the eternal pessimist in me, but I have a very good reason to expect things to fail.
I come from a very long line of systemic failures.
It’s like my life has been falling through each and every crack imaginable.
My grandmother going through residential school
My father joining the Royal Canadian Navy.
The HMCS Kootenay incident.
The military’s lack of acknowledgment of PTSD and stigma to mental illness
The military’s culture of self medicating with alcohol and other substances
The military’s rules and regulations that put non-serving spouses at great disadvantage on the bases, especially in matters of child custody.
The military’s defective by design justice system.
The flaws in the National Defence Act
The “blame the victim” culture that existed on the bases.
The rampant homophobia that existed on the bases and which was condoned by Canadian Forces Administrative Order 19-20 which really made it almost impossible for male victims of sexual assault to be taken seriously.
The ability for dysfunctional military parents to use the transfer system to skip out on social services.
The fact that civilians such as civilian law enforcement and civilian social services needed permission to enter defence establishments.
So, will I continue to fall through more cracks?
Or will long overdue acknowledgements be forthcoming?
I came across this video on TikTok yesterday and it really blew me away as to how naive people, especially adults, can be.
I can assure you that this is not the way it worked on any military base in Canada. Especially not if you had the misfortune of coming from a dysfunctional family such as mine.
My mother left in 1977 while my father was stationed at CFB Summerside. It wasn’t her choice to leave.
Military housing could only be rented to the serving member, the non-serving parent had no legal rights to remain in the house if the serving member didn’t want them there. In fact the language in the Defence Establishment Trespass Regulations meant that the non-serving spouses were only able to remain in the military housing so long as they had the “permission” of their serving spouse. If the serving spouse didn’t want the non-serving spouse there, the non-serving spouse had no options but to leave.
In the aftermath of my mother leaving my grandmother came to Summerside to live with us from the spring of 1977 until the spring of 1978. When she returned to Edmonton my father requested a posting to Edmonton specifically so that his mother could look after his children as his “wife had abandoned him”.
As I mentioned elsewhere in my blog, my grandmother had been through Indian Residential school as a child. She didn’t have much of a formal education having entered school when she was 13 and leaving school when she was 15.
From all accounts she was an alcoholic by the time my father was born in 1946.
When she came to live with us in the military housing in Summerside she was mostly drunk and would often haul my brother and I off to the Royal Canadian Legion or other pubs while she drank.
When my father received his posting from Summerside to Namao he brought her and her husband Roy (Andy) Anderson into the PMQ on Namao to raise my brother and I while he literally buggered off to who knowns where.
It was grandma’s and Andy’s drinking that landed Andy in long term nursing care when he slipped in the bathtub and cracked his skull open. It was because of this that my brother and I ended up in the care of the babysitter.
My father was asked by Alberta Social Services after we became involved with civilian social services in 1981 if he knew why my brother and I were having emotional and behavioural issues.
My father explained to social services that his mother was “extremely cruel to his children, especially when she was intoxicated, which was frequent”.
He would further tell social services on different occasions that his mother would not admit to being an alcoholic, and that she refused to seek help for her alcoholism.
There’s a couple of “not so funny things” about my father’s statements to the CFNIS in 2011 which serve to illustrate just how fucked up the military justice system actually is.
First, my father seemed to imply that my grandmother never lived with us, and even if she did it was just a very brief period of time.
The CFNIS in 2011 knew from my statement to them that grandma had raised my brother and I from the spring of 1977 until the spring of 1981 and that even before we moved to Downsview in 1983 we’d spend a lot of our weekends at grandma’s apartment.
And when I obtained a copy of my social service records from the Alberta government in August of 2011, I gave the CFNIS a copy of the entire set of records.
The CFNIS never attempted to question my father about the discrepancies between his statement and the contents of the social service records. Instead the CFNIS gave Alberta Crown prosecutor Jon Werbicki my father’s statement with absolutely no mention of my father’s statement to social services after Alberta social services became involved with my family.
This resulted in Jon Werbicki stating that “it was very significant that Mr. Bees never told anyone in a position of authority about the abuse”.
And of course in 2012 the Canadian Forces Provost Marshal did not make the existence of these records known to the Military Police Complaints Commission. So these records became “new evidence” that the MPCC wasn’t able to review. And these records became “new evidence” that couldn’t be introduce during my application for Judicial Review in federal court.
Long story short, unlike in the video there was no one at home that I could run to tell.
My father was living off base with whatever girlfriend he had at the moment. He honestly barely lived with us in PMQ #11 on 12th street on CFB Namao. He didn’t move back into the PMQ until August of 1980.
His mother came to live with us on Canadian Forces Base Griesbach. She looked after my brother and I until the summer of 1981 when she moved out and got her own apartment.
My father’s drinking was just as bad as my grandmother’s drinking. And when the two got drunk together there would often be swearing, yelling, and shoving. If my uncle Doug showed up and the three of them were drinking things would really get out of control.
The thing was alcoholism on the bases in the PMQ patches back in the day was always seen as normal. “It’s a tough job”. “It’s a hard life”. “It’s camaraderie and cohesion building”.
It wasn’t until I moved off base and started living in the civilian world that I began to realize that not every weekend was supposed to be a booze fuelled festival.
The dirty secret of the Canadian Forces is that there was a lot of “trailer trash” living on the bases back then.
My new stepmother didn’t like any of this and she decided to try to put an end to my father’s drinking. She blamed my grandmother for my father’s drinking and the relationship between my stepmother and my grandmother was described as “frosty”. One of them had to go, and it wasn’t going to be my father’s girlfriend.
There was one time that I asked my uncle Doug why my father always believed everything that my stepmother said over what I had said. His response was that the father slept with her, not with me. It would be a few years before I would truly understand what that comment meant.
My grandmother lived by two maxims, and no doubt this was beat into her during her stay at Holy Angels in Fort Chipewyan. “Children are to be seen and not heard” and “Children only speak when spoken to”. And yes, Richard was the exact same. Richard did not under any-fucking-circumstance want to be disturbed. You only spoke when he said it was okay to speak. You stood silently beside him and waited for him to acknowledge you before you said anything. And when you said something to him, it had better not be a stupid waste of his fucking time.
Grandma was the same. If you talked at the kitchen table you either got rapped on the knuckles with the wooden spoon, or you got smacked across the mouth.
But yeah, tell me again who exactly I was supposed to tell about the abuse.
My alcoholic grandmother?
My alcoholic father?
My stepmother, who no no doubt had been told nothing about CFB Namao by her new husband, but had been told that his kids were acting up like they were because they liked their mother better than her?
And besides, with the comments of my father and Captain Totzke, everyone knew what had happened.
It wasn’t like I should have had to tell anyone. That base was a secured defence establishment. How the base chaplain and at least one of his altar boys could molest over 25 children for over 2 years is something that I will never understand.
But whatever. It doesn’t matter if my father lied to the CFNIS in 2011 or if the CFNIS guided my father into saying what he said, the CFNIS accomplished what it needed to do. And that was to sever any potential connection to myself and the babysitter as the babysitter and the babysitter’s documented abuse of young children on the base is what led to the discovery of Captain Father Angus McRae.
If there’s one thing that the public misunderstands about base brats it’s that as kids we moved around a lot. And not only were we moving, but the other kids on base would move as well.
Kids from dysfunctional families were pretty well segregated and ignored on base.
The Canadian Forces and the Department of National Defence will bray endlessly that your serving parent’s rank had no influence in the PMQ patch and that your serving parent would drop their military mindset at the front door of the PMQ.
That was absolute bullshit.
The PMQ patches were in all sense of the word the ultimate company town.
And as such children from dysfunctional homes were pretty well isolated from the others.
Sexually abused children, especially males, were seen to be willing participants in their own abuse and as such they were seen to be a risk to the other kids on base.
In the days after the CFB Namao child sexual abuse sex scandal my family, like others, were posted off CFB Namao. The babysitter’s family was the first to move. This more than likely had to do with rumblings on base that some of the junior ranks wanted to lynch the babysitter.
My family was punted off CFB Namao and down to CFB Griesbach in October of 1980. This was a total trip distance of 10 km, paid for by the Canadian tax payers.
So, how am I supposed to know who the other kids are or how to find them.
The DND, the CAF, and the DOJ all have access to the listings of military families that resided on the base from the summer of 1978 until the summer of 1980, but this is “protected” as personal information.
The CFSIU investigation paperwork and the courts martial transcripts contain the names of the other potential victims, but again this is “personal information” and can’t be released to protect the victims.
There was a crime stoppers appeal for victims of sexual assault on the base between 1978 to 1980 that was released in 2018. According to the MPCC paperwork this provided “hits”, but nothing that could be directly tied to me. This could be used to find other victims. But the DOJ, the DND, and the CAF would fight this tooth and nail.
Why don’t I go on line to the facebook groups? or Xitter, or Bluesky, or Threads?
The one problem with that is there is a certain contingent of former military dependent that will not acknowledge that bad things happened to children on the bases because if they did then they would have to face the fact that they were often the ones shunning, teasing, taunting, and isolating the hurt kids.
So, here we are in 2024.
My clock is quickly winding down.
And the DOJ knows full well well that they have nothing to fear as the organization that I am squaring off against controls all of the information required for my claim to be successful.
Unlike the kids who got diddled by sports players, priests, police officers, school teachers, etc., I have to contend with an agency that can legally silence potential witnesses that were part of the military back in the day. The security of information act / the official secrets act is so extremely vague when it comes to persons who were subject to the code of service discipline when they learnt about “information” on a defence establishment.
The section of the official secrets act / security of information act that deals with members of the Canadian Armed Forces on base isn’t limited to “secret” or “classified” documents, plans, sketches, etc. These acts cover “all information” which could include “police investigations”, “reasons for chain of command decisions”, “orders to subordinates”, etc.
Also, the 3-year-time-bar legally protects anyone who was subjected to the code of service discipline in 1980 from any modern day legal action, and I would also interpret that to also protect these people from any civil liabilities.
Even if the RCMP wanted to go have a chit-chat with retired Canadian Armed Forces officer Brigadier General Daniel Edward Munro, the National Defence Act protects Munro from any criminal investigation.
Charges against McRae pg1Charges Against McRae pg2
The above two pages are from the 1980 courts martial of Captain McRae. They are what are known as the “charge sheets”.
Yes, the Canadian Forces have ALWAYS had the authority to try service members on Code of Service Discipline matters, and that the National Defence Act allowed the military to try Criminal Code offences as Service Offences.
This also meant that the crimes of Gross Indecency, Indecent Assault, Buggery, and just about every other charge related to sexual offences against children were subject to the 3-year-time-bar that stipulated that no person that committed a service offence could be prosecuted for that offence if the tribunal for said offence commenced more that 3 years after the date of the offence.
The fact that the Canadian Forces could try sexual assaults against children as service offences meant that the summary investigation flaw would also apply. The Summary Investigation Flaw required that the commanding officer of the accused review the charges that had been brought against their subordinate. If the charges would result in a sentence of less than 2 years and not dismissal from the Canadian Forces , the commanding officer could conduct a summary trial where the commanding officer would be the judge.
If there was the risk that the charges would in charges of more than two years or dismissal from the Canadian Forces the commanding officer would cause the charges to proceed to courts martial or the civilian justice system.
However, the commanding officer could also chose to simply dismiss any or all of the charges brought against their subordinate. And once dismissed, those charges or similar charges arising out of the same or similar facts could never be brought against the subordinate at a later date by either a military or civilian tribunal.
When I asked the CFNIS in 2018 if they could talk to Daniel Edward Munro, whom was residing in the vicinity of the CFNIS detachment at CFB Esquimalt, this was the response the CFNIS investigator received from Ottawa.
3 year time bar pg13 year time bar pg2
So, not only is Munro immune from explaining to the military or civilian police what he did in 1980 and who may have possibly ordered him to do what he did, but he would also be silenced by the Security of Information Act as anything that he did on CFB Namao related to the investigation and prosecution of Captain McRae would be considered “information”.
As I mentioned in other blog postings, I had become acquainted with Fredrick R. Cunningham on November 27th, 2011. He filled me in on numerous details of the Captain McRae fiasco. He wouldn’t name names, but he would state that the military police were prevented by the “brass” from calling in the RCMP to deal with the babysitter, and that the military police had many more charges against Captain McRae but that the “brass” reduced that number of charges to those only related to the babysitter, all other charges related to other children had been dropped. Cunningham also noted that the military police at the time wanted to move this case into the civilian justice system but that the “brass” refused their requests. Cunningham wouldn’t say what his rank was or what unit that he was involved with, but he also begged me not to tell anyone that he had told me anything about the babysitter and Captain McRae.
I mentioned the contents of my conversation with Cunningham in a letter to the Provost Marshal. Weeks later Gilles Sansterre, the commander of the CFNIS telephoned me to say that the CFNIS couldn’t find any evidence to substantiate what this “Cunningham” guy said. Sansterre said he doubted that Cunningham could have known anything about the 1980 investigation and that Cunningham probably heard about this information 2nd or 3rd hand.
In 2020 with the release of the CFSIU investigation paperwork I would learn that Cunningham was in fact the Acting Section Commander of the CFSIU on CFB Namao and that he had been personally tasked by the base security officer, Captain David Pilling, with investigating Captain McRae for having committed “Acts of Homosexuality” with young boys on the base.
Everything that Cunningham had told me had been backed up by the CFSIU paperwork.
How powerful are the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence at keeping secrets?
In 2016, during part 2 of the CFNIS investigation into my complaint against the babysitter, the CFNIS tried to talk to Fred Cunningham. Fred outright refused to go for an interview at the CFNIS detachment located on Canadian Forces Garrison Steele Barracks (formerly CFB Namao). He would only talk to the CFNIS as long as no audio or video recordings were made. That’s an odd thing for the lead investigator of a major child sexual abuse scandal involving more than 25 children to say.
What was Fred afraid of?
Well, I think that Fred was afraid that if what he told the CFNIS in 2016 came anywhere near close to what he told me in 2011, then that meant that we would have run afoul of the security of information act / official secrets act. The actual penalties aren’t anything too serious under the acts.
BUT……..
What if the Canadian Forces were to retroactively dishonourably discharge Fred from the Canadian Forces effective the time period of the Captain McRae fiasco. I don’t know when Fred retired, but that would be a hell of a lot of pension money, wages, and housing allowances to have to pay back to the government.
Do I think it would have resulted in that? No. But who the hell would want to go against a government agency governed by intentionally vague and overreaching acts and regulations and spend all sorts of retirement money and retirement time fighting the government?
And this is the problem facing any lawyer dealing with matters against the Department of National Defence and the Canadian Armed Forces. You’re not dealing with acts and regulations that are set in concrete. You’re dealing with acts and regulations that are so vague that they can be whatever the DND and the CAF want them to be from one day to the next.
The catholic church or even the scouts can be required to hand over the names of members of their organizations to police investigators, prosecutors, and even civil litigants. The DND and the CAF don’t have to meet those obligations as any information they have is considered “personal information” as the abusers and the serving parents of the victims were members of the Canadian Armed Forces and as such were “employees” and as such they would need to seek the permission of the involved parties to release said information.
So back to the topic at the start of this post, “why don’t I simply find other brats”? The secrecy surrounding the CAF and the military communities guards the military community with a large impenetrable wall of secrecy.
Throw into this the number of frequent relocations across the country, and then the children moving off and on their own when they “age off” the bases, and you have former brats scatted all over the country.
In the day and age that I lived on the bases children could only live in the PMQs on base until the 19th birthday. There were exceptions for children going to college or university. They had until 24 to get out of the military housing. The only other exception was for handicapped children.
I lived in 7 different PMQs, on 5 different bases, in four different provinces by the time I was 12. Might not be a lot of moves in and of itself, but when the other kids are also moving around this creates a lot of churn.
As I said, dysfunctional families on base were a dime a dozen. I spoke to my father only a handful of times between 1990 when I moved out of the house for the second time and 2006. I never spoke to my father again between 2006 and when he died in 2017. I suspect that there were a lot of other brats like this.
I know of another department manager at work that was a base brat as a child. They absolutely refuse to talk about their childhood as they’re ashamed of what they went through and they’re afraid of others finding out.
And this is why I don’t think that the Canadian Armed Forces or the Department of National Defence will ever have to own up to the full extent of child sexual abuse on Canadian Forces Base Namao nor any other defence establishment across Canada.
The impenetrable walls of secrecy, and the online army of flying monkey base brats ensure that the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence never have to worry their pretty little heads off. When the tools of secrecy can’t conceal the child sexual abuse, the legion of flying monkey base brats will attack the abused brats.
From the report: “Our most significant challenge this year was the erosion of the MPCC’s ability to exercise civilian oversight of the military police. The MPCC used a great deal of resources and effort to obtain relevant documents from the CFPM to enable it to conduct fair and fulsome investigations. In too many instances, we have seen resistance or refusal to disclose information the MPCC needs to investigate complaints; a reduction in the number of recommendations accepted by the CFPM; a refusal to respond to recommendations; a refusal to provide updates on files currently being reviewed by the Office of Professional Standards of the CFPM; and restrictive and unilateral interpretation of the MPCC’s jurisdiction. The MPCC has been forced to turn to the Federal Court to obtain the documents it is legally entitled to review as part of its mandate. These unfortunate barriers dilute the will of Parliament in setting up a strong oversight system for the police and must be addressed.”
The MPCC was created in 1998 as part of the passing of Bill C-25 in 1998 and the restructuring of the military police in the aftermath of the fallout from the failures of the military police to conduct proper criminal investigations in Bosnia and Somalia when the Canadian Forces were on “peace keeping” missions there but ended up with members of the CAF conducting illegal activities.
The Military Police Complaints Commission was created with input from the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence, meaning that the CAF and the DND knew how they wanted their new police forces to operate and that through careful consideration the MPCC would be relegated to the status of toothless hound dog.
The issues that Madame Tammy Tremblay raised above are nothing new. In 2015 then outgoing MPCC chairman Glenn Stannard has this to say in his interview with Gloria Galloway of The Globe and Mail.
The Canadian Forces Provost Marshal has the ability to control the findings of the Military Police Complaints Commission.
During a review, the MPCC cannot subpoena documents or witnesses. The MPCC also cannot administer oaths.
Without the ability to administer oaths the members of the CFNIS subject to the complaint can utter falsehoods all day long and there will be absolutely no repercussions.
If a person such as myself wishes to make a complaint against the base military police or the Canadian Forces Special Investigations Unit we have to first submit our complaint to the Provost Marshal. The Provost Marshal then knows what the complaint is about and can then tailor the documents released to the MPCC to paint the narrative that the Provost Marshal or the Vice Chief of Defence Staff which for the MPCC to see.
Even if the MPCC suspects that something is off and not right, there’s nothing the MPCC can do as the MPCC cannot demand the release of documents from the Provost Marshal. Sure, they can go to Federal Court to ask the court to instruct the Provost Marshal to hand over the records, but that would mean that the MPCC would have to know what documents to request.
As I learnt during the 2012 review of my complaint against the 2011 CFNIS investigation, the complainant cannot simply supply the MPCC with all the documents in their possession. The MPCC can only consider documents that are relevant to the documents supplied to the MPCC by the Provost Marshal.
And as the Provost Marshal is under no obligation to tell the complainant what they’ve supplied and what they’ve withheld from the Military Police Complaints Commission, following through with a MPCC review is almost 100% a waste of time.
This is why when I was interviewed by Claude Bergeron and Peter Cicalo of the MPCC in July of 2012 they were practically popping the champagne and cheering for the CFNIS.
I’m on the left….. the MPCC is on the right.
Peter and Claude were very impressed with the CFNIS investigation even though the Provost Marshal had actually withheld all of my email communications between myself and Master Corporal Christian Cyr detailing the 5 visits to the chapel.
After my interview with Peter and Claude I was so fucking nauseated that I just wandered around the city aimlessly until about 03:00 in the morning trying to work up the courage to jump off the Granville Street bridge.
The Provost Marshal withheld the fact that the CFNIS had in its possession the 1980 CFSIU investigation paperwork and the 1980 courts martial transcripts from the MPCC.
Both of these sets of documents indicated that in 1980 the military police and the CFSIU were very well aware of the babysitter’s abuse of young children on the base and the fact that it was the investigation of the babysitter that exposed the actions of Canadian Armed Forces officer Captain Father Angus McRae.
This of course ran counter to was I was told by Petty Officer Steve Morris on November 4th, 2011 when he stated that the CFNIS could find absolutely no evidence that the babysitter was capable of what I accused him of.
Well, if you don’t like the findings of the MPCC, file an application for Judicial Review.
Don’t think that the Federal Court will be of any relief. The Federal Court can only render judgements based upon the documents that the Provost Marshal submitted to the MPCC. Anything else is considered “New Evidence” and the Department of Justice will fight tooth and nail to have all “new evidence” dismissed.
When I entered all of my emails between myself and Master Corporal Christian Cyr detailing the visits to the chapel the DOJ demanded that these be struck from the proceedings as they were “new evidence”. Because the Provost Marshal failed to notify the MPCC about these emails, I couldn’t introduce these emails at Federal Court level.
And it gets goofier than this.
In 1998, the Provost Marshal issued CFPM 2120-4-0 to the commanding officers of the new CFNIS, and all of the detachments across Canada. This document was further reissued in 2006. This document stated that matters involving civilian victim are to be handed over to the outside civilian authorities having jurisdiction. This document further stipulated that the CFNIS could only conduct an investigation of offences involving civilian victims if the outside civilian authorities outright refused to conduct the investigation.
I introduced this document into my applicant’s records for my application for judicial review.
The Department of Justice requested this document be struck from my hearing as this was also “New Evidence”. New evidence even though this was a standing operating procedure of the Canadian Forces Military Police. But it appears that the Military Police Complaints Commission was never given a copy of this document even though this document has guided military police and CFNIS operations since 1998.
I can’t help but wonder if the Provost Marshal’s new found energy to fight the MPCC over documents has to do with the fact that the MPCC went around the firewall that the CFNIS and the Provost Marshal had constructed around the investigation into my complaint of sexual abuse on Canadian Forces Base Namao and accesses a parallel investigation being conducted into the sexual assaults on CFB Namao and discovered the CFSIU investigation paperwork and the 1980 courts martial transcripts in the possession of the CFNIS.
Militaries like the Canadian Armed Forces really don’t like outside civilian agencies and do-gooders sticking their noses into the military’s business. Militaries view themselves as being the saviours of their respective country, and therefore they should never be questioned.
The Catholic church did the exact same thing that the Canadian Armed Forces are doing. And that’s using their immense power and prestige to place themselves above examination by pesky civilians.
The only difference between the Catholic church and the Canadian Armed Forces is that the Catholic church is subject to civilian laws and the civilian courts. The Canadian Armed Forces are a law unto themselves.
It’s often said that Canadians have rights and freedoms that most of the world don’t enjoy.
The one right that I don’t have is the right to request that my life be terminated.
For some reason my desire to die is either taking rights away from people who don’t want to die, or if I am allowed to die then the man in the sky will be angry.
I didn’t ask for this life.
I didn’t ask for my grandmother to be a residential school survivor.
I didn’t ask for my father to be a pissed tank alcoholic like his mother.
I didn’t ask for military rules and regulations to allow dead beats like my father to have my mother discharged from military housing.
I didn’t ask for Captain Father Angus McRae to be a sexual pervert.
I didn’t ask for my babysitter, Captain McRae’s altar boy, to work as McRae’s agent.
I didn’t ask to be sexually abused by the babysitter when my grandmother would go into town to visit her husband in the nursing home.
I didn’t ask for the 1970 RSC National Defence Act to be written in such a way that unscrupulous members of the Canadian Forces could bend and obstruct a criminal investigation to hide and minimize the true extent of the crimes.
I didn’t ask for Captain Terry Totzke to interfere with my mental health and wellbeing so as to keep a lid on the events of CFB Namao.
I didn’t ask to be blamed for the abuse my brother endured at the hands of the babysitter.
I didn’t ask to be disowned by my father for “fucking” with his military career.
I’m suffering from a myriad of issues that I didn’t ask for and didn’t have any control over.
And then I get ambushed by disabled rights groups and mental health advocates because I can be fixed or cured so long as I am willing to hide, bury, and internalize the shit I went through.
I get ambushed by the members of the Invisible Sky Daddy crowd who seem to think that their invisible friend will be sad and upset if I end my own life.
And then I also get ambushed by the Canadian Armed Forces who will move mountains to prove that nothing whatsoever happened on Canadian Forces Base Namao and that I’m just a “societal malcontent with an axe to grind against the military”.
I should be able to make a simple request, go through a simple verification process, a subsequent cooling down period, and then the procedure if I wish to go through with the procedure.
The fact that others may be upset about my death shouldn’t be a factor in this matter.
Society has absolutely no problem with my death if I get killed by an out-of-control car driver because speed and horsepower are more important than my life.
Society has absolutely no problem with my death due to pollution, because pollution means production, and production means owners get wealthy.
The right-to-die is a basic human right that should never be removed from a person.
Don’t want physically healthy person dying for mental health reasons?
Don’t let children get sexually abused, and if they do, take care of them.
Don’t let them get fucked over by the dysfunctional military sham justice system.
Don’t let unqualified persons fuck with children’s brains.
And don’t hide, minimize, and then victim blame the victim.
I was contacted by the Alberta Medical Examiner’s office on Tuesday. They were returning a phone call that I had placed on Monday.
Scott died sometime close to the beginning of August. The official date of death is August 12th, 2024 as that was when the police found his body in his condo.
It’s coming up on 5 months since his death and the medical examiner still hasn’t been able to determine the cause of death.
I would hazard a guess that he was far too decomposed by the time the police were requested to conduct a wellness check.
It will be interesting to see what the results are.
Is there any chance that I will pass up on Medical Assistance in Dying?
No.
But Bobbie, aren’t you on hormones?
Yes, yes I am.
And aren’t you on anti-depressants?
Yes, yes I am.
Well then, you should be feeling much better, you should be happy.
No. No I’m not, and it’s nothing to do with being happy.
My brain is burnt out.
I can’t escape the ghosts of so many years ago.
40 years of untreated mental illness has taken its toll.
40 years of living with the fallout of Captain Totzke.
A dysfunctional childhood spent hopping from one Canadian Forces base to another being raised by a rage fuelled alcoholic and his cruel alcoholic mother.
I’m going through with the hormones because this is something that I always wanted to do. This was something that I would not have been able to undertake when I was younger. But the hormones won’t fix a damaged brain nor will the hormones erase 40 years of horrific memories.
I get the feeling that society believes that I owe it to society to fix myself and to live so that I continue to be a benefit to society.
I owe nothing to society.
Society in fact owed it to me to allow me to enjoy a normal childhood and a normal adulthood. Society instead said that it valued the image and prestige of the Canadian Armed Forces over my well-being. And as such society really has lost its “right” to tell me that I have live because I owe it to society.
Well, why don’t you commit suicide?
I’ve known for a very long time that if I were to commit suicide that the babysitter and my father would win and their version of reality would become my truth.
Since learning the whole entire truth about the events that occurred on Canadian Forces Base Namao and how the modern day Canadian Armed Forces are so very hellbent on keeping the secrets of child sexual abuse on Canadian Forces hidden from the public consciousness, committing suicide would be giving the Canadian Forces an easy way out. And you can bet your bottom dollar that the Canadian Forces would pull out all of the stops to tar and feather my name.
So, you’re not really going to take your own life, you’re just doing this for theatrics, right?
Nope. Just waiting to see if the Department of Justice or the Canadian Armed Forces are willing to do the right thing or if they’re going to do everything in their power to keep this matter hidden and buried from the public eye.
The hospital where I work is in the process of moving. The new facility is supposed to be opened by 2027. The acute portion of the hospital is expected to transfer from the old site to the new site in a couple of weeks. The old hospital will stay in operation for a little while longer as it will have to support the various research programs on site until the new research building is constructed. I’ve already made it very clear that I have no interest in going to the new site, that I’m more than content to stay at the old site and run it until I either decide to pull the plug or the site shuts down.
Management for the most part doesn’t know why I have no interest in going to the new site, but there are a few managers that do. Some co-workers know of my plans, but most don’t.
My plan for when I decide the time is right to die is to simply announce that I’ve received an excellent job offer in the maritimes and that I want to take it as I want to return to Nova Scotia to retire there.
I grew up in an environment in which mental health issues were not acknowledged.
In fact, the environment that I grew up in, mental health issues were to be kept hidden due to the stigma that Canadian Armed Forces placed upon mental illness.
And for the last time, NO, the attitudes of the military didn’t stop at the front door of the PMQ. The attitudes of the Canadian Armed Forces permeated through everyone that lived on a military base. There was no escaping the military in the PMQs on base.
My father used booze to treat his mental health issues.
And back in the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s my father wasn’t the only one self medicating.
I know that my father also had a thing for prescription pain killers.
But no matter how much his drinking and his pain killers fucked with his brain and almost got him booted out of the military, there was no fucking way on earth that Richard would ever have gone to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
Richard would have rather taken a bullet to the temple than talk to a head shrinker.
As mentioned elsewhere, my brain was completely fucked up in the aftermath of Canadian Forces Base Namao. On Namao, it wasn’t just the sexual abuse at the hands of the babysitter for 2 years, nor was it the frequent visits to the chapel that ended with the “sickly sweet grape juice”. It was also the fall out from my mentally and physically abusive father, and his very own mother that he had brought into the PMQ on base to raise my brother and I.
She was an Indian Residential School survivor. She was very angry, very domineering, and very cruel at times. She was also as much of an alcoholic, if not more than my father. It was the excessive drinking of her and her husband in the PMQ on CFB Namao that led to my brother frequently being placed into the care of the babysitter.
When my family was punted off CFB Namao and relocated to CFB Griesbach in the aftermath of the CFB Namao child sex abuse scandal I was quickly brought to the attention of the military social worker, Captain Terry Totzke.
I only knew Terry as Terry until August of 2011 when I learnt that Terry was a Captain in the Canadian Armed Forces.
Terry was not a pleasant man.
Terry was always angry with me.
Angry for what I had done on CFB Namao when I repeatedly had sex with the babysitter.
Terry was upset that I had allowed the babysitter to molest my younger brother and that I didn’t do anything to stop it.
I was sent to see specialists, during which Terry would often remark that I was “acting out for attention”. My father would often repeat this.
Terry always wanted to know what I intended to do to change my ways.
Once Terry and my father picked me up from Major General Griesbach School, which was the school on base for children of military families. We drove over to Terry’s office which was located over by base HQ on CFB Griesbach. As we drove past the brig, Terry mentioned to me that if I continued to be attracted to boys that I would end up in prison just like the priest.
At the time I had no idea about who the “priest” was as everything on Canadian Forces Base Namao had been hushed up. It wouldn’t be until May 3rd, 2011 that I would learn about the twisted connection between the warning of the priest in the brig, the “sickly sweet grape juice”, and my babysitter.
Due to my interactions with Canadian Armed Forces personnel Captain Terry Totzke and Master Corporal Richard Wayne Gill and the way in which the two blamed me for what had happened to myself and to my brother on Canadian Forces Base Namao I am forever immune to counselling.
I remember Terry voicing his concerns about me ever being allowed to be around naked boys in places like swimming pool change rooms because I would be too tempted.
Terry would also remind me that he had the base military police watching me to make sure that I wasn’t kissing or touching other boys.
And it gets much worse.
After we lived on Canadian Forces Base Griesbach for about a year, I started seeing other people in addition to Terry. The thing was I would never go to see these people unless my father was there or Terry was there.
I never went to see these people at Terry’s office. And these people never came to see me at MGG School. We always had to go off-base to see these people. One of these places that we’d go to had a room with a large one-way mirror. Terry would always go into the room on the other side of the mirror.
On the way over to these meetings my father would always remind me that I had to keep my mouth shut and not say a thing otherwise these people would find out what I had done on CFB Namao and that these people would twist my words and that this would put me in a “world of shit”.
When I obtained my social services paperwork in the summer of 2011 I would learn that Pat, Wayne, Laura, Aviva, and many others were the “good people” and that my father and Captain Totzke were the “bad people”. The reality was a complete 180 from what Terry and my father were drilling into my head.
According to the paperwork, when I first went into Terry’s care, he had my family evaluated by a psychiatrist that specialized in dysfunctional families.
I was found to be suffering from major depression, severe anxiety, I was terrified of men and convinced that my father was going to kill me by drowning me in a toilet, I was afraid of being touched, I talked about death and dying, and I could not express any type of emotion.
My father was found to have issues controlling his anger, felt like he was the victim, blamed his problems on others, didn’t want to take responsibility for his family, expected others to solve his problems for him.
Not once during my time in Totzke’s care was I ever sent for counselling, or received medication for my severe anxiety or major depression. Terry was adamant that I was wetting the bed for attention and acting up for attention. Terry was even more concerned about the homosexuality that I had exhibited when I allowed the sex with the babysitter to go on for so long.
Around the summer of 1982 I started going to a “special school”. Again, every day before catching the literal “short yellow bus” to go to school, my father would remind me to keep my mouth shut and to talk as little as possible to Pat and Wayne otherwise they would twist my words and make me say things that I didn’t say. Terry would also show up at this special school on occasion.
As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, in the spring of 1983 my father received a sudden posting to Canadian Forces Base Downsview in Ontario. This came right after I had apparently been “expelled” from the “special school” as apparently I was still attracted to boys.
As we drove from CFB Griesbach in Edmonton towards CFB Downsview in Toronto, I asked my father why we had to move. He said that he was saving me from the drugs that my teachers wanted to give me to make me stop being attracted to boys.
When we got to CFB Downsview and got settled into our first PMQ on that base, Richard would rage out on me frequently for “fucking with his military career”. Richard was smart. He never hit on the face. It was always on the back of the head or some other part of my body that wouldn’t show the bruising.
In 2011 I would learn that Richard was not saving me from the drugs. Richard, and possibly Terry were saving their own asses. Alberta social services informed Captain Totzke of their intentions to remove me from the home and place me into foster care. It would be safe to say that my “treatment” at the hands of Terry was to ensure that I never talked to any type of civilian authority or official about what had happened on CFB Namao least someone get curious about the entire Captain Father Angus McRae fiasco.
If I got pulled out of Richards PMQ where both Captain Totzke and my father were busy gaslighting me about CFB Namao and instead I was placed into either foster care or residential care, there was the possibility that I could have calmed down and once comfortable that I would start talking to my civilian social workers about what had truly happened on CFB Namao.
On January 26th, 1983 Totzke was informed about the intentions of Alberta Social Services to remove me from the home for my protection.
On January 28th, 1983 Totzke tells my child care worker that my father has just received a posting order from the Canadian Forces.
After my family arrives at Canadian Forces Base Downsview, my child care worker in Alberta closes my file as I now reside in a different province and that my paperwork will be returned to Captain Terry Totzke.
And this is why I really want Medical Assistance in Dying.
Unlike what the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service tried to portray in 2011, the abuse on CFB Namao was very real and very horrific. It went on for almost 2 years. It involved a teenager with no empathy and very poor restraint. It involved alcohol and who the fuck knows what at the base chapel.
Captain Terry Totzke knew about the abuse
My father knew about the abuse.
Captain Totzke actively denied me access to timely and beneficial mental health treatment, no doubt by the “lawful commands” of his superiors.
I was caught in a lopsided war between my civilian social workers who had no fucking idea in the slightest as to what was wrong with me, and Captain Terry Totzke who obviously knew what was wrong with me as he knew about the sexual abuse and he had my diagnoses.
It was drilled into my young brain by Captain Terry Totzke, and my father, Master Corporal Richard Wayne Gill, that feelings are not to be talked about, that “head shrinkers” are bad and are not to be trusted.
I’ve lived each and every day since the spring of 1980 being blamed, ridiculed, and mocked for what happened on CFB Namao.
I’ve tried counselling. But all it is is useless talking.
Counselling won’t fix anything. When you think about it, counselling is a scam. There’s nothing that it can really fix, and if it doesn’t work they just claim a 100% success rate and say that you jut didn’t try hard enough.
Just spent the last three days sleeping in for the most part.
I know that it’s so very hard for you the reader to understand just how fucking hard it is to keep staying alive.
About the only thing that keeps me going is the minuscule possibility that I might be able to clear my name before I die.
My childhood was a disaster, not just because of a child predator named Angus McRae who was a member of the regular forces as a Captain, and not just because of the teens that he groomed to molest children and trained those teens to bring young children over to the base chapel.
No, my life was ruined by mostly men in the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence who decided that my mental health and the mental health of the other children molested on various Canadian Armed Forces Bases was worth far less than the prestige, honour, and reputation of the military.
Master Corporal Richard Wayne Gill
Warrant Officer Fredrick R. Cunningham
Captain David Pilling
Captain Terry Totzke
Colonel Daniel Edward Munro
Minister of National Defence Gilles Lamontagne
And many other useful idiots “just following commands”
The Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence know how to manipulate public opinion. DND and the CAF have an extensive “Public Relations” department that knows how to manipulate useful idiots into projecting the image of the Canadian Armed Forces as being infallible and beyond reproach.
And no, this isn’t just a distant event. In the modern day the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence have sections that engage in social media. The MPCC noted in their 2020 report that the DND and the CAF are well aware of my blog postings and my social media presence.
And yes, the Department of Justice is actually following along with my blog.
In May of 2011 the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service told the Royal Canadian Mounted Police that my case was likely to go no where due to a complete lack of evidence. This was two months before the CFNIS would talk to other victims or try to track down the perpetrator.
Of course we’d learn in 2020 that the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service had in its possession since the beginning of the investigation in March of 2011 the 1980 Canadian Forces Special Investigations Unit paperwork and the July 1980 courts martial transcripts, both of which heavily implicated the babysitter as it was his abuse of young children on the base that brought him to the attention of the base military police.
When the CFNIS submitted their brief to the Alberta Crown in October of 1980 they forgot to tell the crown about the dysfunctional household I was living in, the fact that the babysitter was investigated for molesting children in 1980, and that the babysitter was receiving psychological counselling for his attraction to young children. The CFNIS also forgot to mention to the Alberta Crown that I had tried to report the babysitter twice before to the military police but that the military police took no action.
More alarming is that the CFNIS submitted to the Alberta Crown an absolute fabrication. And no doubt that the Department of Justice has latched on to this fabrication. The fabrication? On May 3rd, 2011 I was contacted by Mcpl Christian Cyr of the CFNIS. Cyr tried and tried and tried to get me to believe that the babysitter was only 12 or 13 years old in the spring of 1980. The babysitter was born on June 20th, 1965.
More damning than that was the fact that Cyr literally dropped a bombshell on me. He asked me point blank if I remembered anything about the base chaplain having been charged with molesting children during the time that I was accusing the babysitter of abusing me and he implied that maybe I was confusing things insinuating that maybe I was making this story up for easy money.
When I regained my composure I told Cyr about the 5 visits to the chapel in which the babysitter escorted me over. I told him I remembered the activities we’d do in the living quarters, and that the visits always ended with me being given a “sickly sweet grape juice”.
I would learn later that the CFNIS would imply to other victims that I was a “societal malcontent with an axe to grind against the Canadian Armed Forces” and that I couldn’t hold jobs and that I frequently bounced around in my employment.
When I made my application to Federal Court in 2013 and I was given a copy of the certified tribunal records I was gob smacked to discover that “Cyr” had made an entry into the Security and Military Police Information System database (SAMPIS) that indicated that I remembered various visits in which the babysitter escorted me over to the base chapel “but that nothing sexual ever occurred”. “Cyr” removed any mention of an intoxicating substance as the CFSIU investigation paperwork and the courts martial transcripts would indicate that McRae was known to be giving the children alcohol. I use “Cyr” in this instance in quotes because at the time in 2011 the SAMPIS database had one massively horrific flaw. Superiors could make any edits to any entry that existed in SAMPIS. Sure, SAMPIS would log who made the changes, but SAMPIS would not retain the previous version of the edited item, nor would SAMPIS log the changes made.
In the modern day the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service and the Department of Justice will strive to portray me as an out of control lunatic just looking for quick bucks. The rational for this opinion will be the findings of the 2012 and 2018 MPCC reviews of the 2011 and 2015 investigations. The Department of Justice will go out of its way to downplay the fact that the Canadian Forces Provost Marshal determines what evidence will and will not be presented to the Military Police Complaints Commission and that the MPCC cannot subpoena documents from the CFNIS nor the MPCC.
The Canadian Armed Forces, with the assistance of the Department of Justice are very adept at keeping the truth hidden from the outside world.
I still like to think that in 2019 the Military Police Complaints Commission realized just how fucking badly the Canadian Forces Provost Marshal lied to MPCC . I think this is why the MPCC went out of their way to verify that the CFNIS knew the truth about the babysitter and the extent of Captain McRae’s abuse of children on the base.
Harjit Sajjan was more than happy to fight me to deny me access to the 1980 records. Sajjan only relented once the MPCC confirmed that the CFNIS and the Provost Marshal both knew about the truth from 1980 and actively hid the truth from me and from the Alberta Crown prosecutor.
And no, this shit hasn’t changed to this day. The Canadian Forces Provost Marshal is still actively denying and hiding documents from the Military Police Complaints Commission.
And the really aggravating matter is the fact that the Department of Justice actually wants to rely on the 1980 CFSIU investigation paperwork, the 2011 CFNIS investigation, and the 2015 CFNIS investigation to determine who was a victim and who wasn’t.
In 1980 it was Colonel Daniel Edward Munro, the base commander of Canadian Forces Base Namao that would determine to not call the RCMP in to deal with the babysitter and would not allow charges to proceed that involved children under the age of 14 so that the military could retain jurisdiction for this matter.
Remember, under the pre-1998 NDA Summary Investigation Flaw, it was the commanding officer of the accused that determined which charges their subordinate would face and which charges would be dropped. The provincial crown prosecutor would only become involved AFTER the commanding officer approved the charges and then allowed them to flow into the civilian justice system.
Both the 2011 and 2015 investigations had the 1980 CFSIU investigation paperwork and the 1980 courts martial transcripts in their possession. The 2011 CFNIS investigation ignored my social service records, and various information that I sent to the CFNIS related to the visits to the chapel.
So yeah, this is why I’m fucking tired.
And no, there is no recovering from this.
My father is long dead, he’ll never apologize for the living hell that he subjected my brother and I to in the silence of the military housing on base.
My brother will never get to hear anyone from the Canadian Armed Forces apologize, and my brother will never see that I wasn’t lying about what the babysitter did and that I didn’t “let” or “allow” the babysitter to do what he did.
Daniel Edward Munro will never explain why he did what he did.
The DOJ will go to bat for the babysitter in their portrayal of him as an innocent little angel.
The DOJ will never apologize for learning the entire truth about Captain McRae and his teenage accomplice in 2014 but instead using the absurd and byzantine laws crafted by the Government of Canada that allow agencies like the Canadian Forces to hide and bury the truth.
And no one from the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service will ever have to apologize for lying to me, lying to others about me, lying to the RCMP about me, and making false accusations against me.
Here’s one of my problems. And this problem irks me to no end.
I’m too stupid to be smart, and I’m too smart to be stupid.
In case you think differently, where you end up in life is wholly determined by where you start off in life. Anybody who tells you any different isn’t living in reality.
Anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional family and I mean a really dysfunctional family should be lucky to find basic stable employment.
If you didn’t grow up on military bases in Canada where dysfunctional families were shielded from civilian social services by the military’s wall of secrecy you have nothing to say on this matter.
How dysfunctional was my family? My alcoholic rage prone father brought his own alcoholic rage prone mother into the military housing on base to raise my brother and I as his physical abuse, mental abuse, and drinking was too much for our mother to handle.
My father tried to blame my mental health issues on his own mother. He told Alberta Social Services that my difficulties came from his “authoritarian mother, who was an alcoholic, and who was extremely cruel to his children”.
My issues at the time were not caused by my grandmother, nor my piss tank alcoholic father.
No, my severe depression and my major anxiety were caused by the two years of sexual abuse on Canadian Forces Base Namao.
The “counselling” that I received from Canadian Armed Forces social worker Captain Terry Totzke absolutely amplified and made my issues much worse, considering that my father, due to the chain of command, was expected to not question Captain Totzke’s treatment methods, such as blaming the sexual abuse I endured on CFB Namao as a result of some sort of “homosexuality” that I had exhibited.
And also Totzke’s refusal to let me receive treatment for major depression and severe anxiety really didn’t help the situation much either.
As I mentioned elsewhere, my father was heavily into electronics and computers. So much so that he always had work benches in the basements of the different PMQs that we lived in. He also always had subscriptions to Popular Electronics, Radio Electronics, and occasionally Elektor Electronics. Plus he always had his CAF / DND educational literature laying around, as well as his DeVry course manuals laying around.
Seeing as how my father had very little interest in me as a kid, I thought that if I picked up an interest in electronics and computers, maybe Richard and I would get along as we’d have something in common.
Richard wasn’t the type of person to try to instil creativity or curiosity in a child.
In fact, Richard was so insecure that he was never going to let his stupid fucking kids eclipse him. The stupider Scott and I remained the smarter he would look in comparison.
Picking up electronics and computers was indeed beneficial, but not in the way that anyone thinks.
When people learn that I dropped out of school after grade 8, people always assume that it was because I was a troublemaker or a problem child. The truth is, between my father and my brother, things were becoming too violent and too unhinged in our house on Canadian Forces Base Downsview.
By 1987 my brother was starting to run with a gang of thugs. He had already been to group homes a few times after he’d been arrested for B&Es and car theft. He was only 13 years old, but he was already taller than my father. Richard wouldn’t dare hit Scott. And because Richard could no longer beat Scott he turned his attention to me for failing to raise my brother properly and for not looking out for my brother. Everything that Scott did was because I let the fucking babysitter touch him.
And no, my father never got over the fact that I had apparently “fucked with his military career” by being the cause of the posting from CFB Griesbach in Edmonton, AB to CFB Downsview in North York, ON.
Even though in reality I know that Richard never would have paid for trade school, or college, or university, I know that when I moved out of the house at 16 I pretty well wrote off ever obtaining a trade or a diploma.
Yes, I did get my grade 12 GED, but that doesn’t matter for much.
And yes, I’m a 4th class power engineer. But that doesn’t mean a lot on its own.
See, when it comes to most any job that I’ve ever had, I’m actually nothing special.
Weird.
Misfit.
Fag.
That’s how most of my employers would have referred to me.
I even had one manger refer to me as “Freddie Mercury” as he “knew” that I was gay. Kept making me promise him that I’d use protection when having sex with other men so that I wouldn’t get AIDs and die.
Many years later I would have one manager at work who refused to have anything to do with me, and when I mentioned this to the manger’s supervisor I was told that the other manager felt very uncomfortable around me because I was “too flamboyant”.
Yeah, when you come from a dysfunctional family and you’ve got no family safety net to fall back on, you just have to put up with this shit and keep going. Standing your ground and making a scene is for people that have backup plans.
I’m a loner. I like to be left alone. I don’t interact well with others. I have to fake smiles.
I’m perpetually late for work in the mornings because I really don’t want to get out of bed. I’m usually very disappointed in the morning when I wake up as that means that I didn’t pass away in my sleep.
I don’t have the slightest interest in sportsball, movies, movie actors, or bands. Yes, I like music, and yes I like watching movies now and again, but I’m not a “fan”.
The one thing that has always seen me through like an ace up my sleeve is my familiarity with electronics and computers, and my reading and comprehension abilities.
But the one thing that my skills have never been able to do is make me feel fulfilled or proud. They’re just shit that I can do.
So, what do my skills let me do? Wait, I can’t call them “skills” because I don’t have a diploma or a TQ or a Red Seal. I guess that I can call them hobbies.
This.
Below is a write up from my second round of testing.
(b) Breaker PDC- E3 delayed vital
Voltage data request from holding registers 41000 to 41007
Using modbus slave software to listen to the output of the IP to RS-485 gateway I get this:
RX 05 03 2E EF 00 03 3C 92 –
This means that the system requested that device 05 (delayed vital breaker) send the contents of the holding register (03) 12015 (hex 2e ef) and three subsequent registers, 12015, 12016, 120170. The 3c 92 are the checksum value for the transmission.
My software masqueraded as device (05), with the contents of the holding registers (03), acknowledged that the request was valid (06) and sent the value of decimal 50 (00 32) to the system. The 0a 6b is the checksum for this transmission.
RX 05 03 2E EF 00 03 3C 92 –
TX 05 03 06 00 32 00 32 00 – 32 0A 6B
When my software transmits the value of 50 to the system, the system displays that it read the value of registers 12015 (hex 2e ef), 12016 (hex 2e f0), 12017 (hex 2e f1) as decimal 50 (hex 00 32).
RX 05 03 2E EF 00 03 3C 92 –
TX 05 03 06 00 7B 00 7B 00 – 7B C7 85
When I change the value of registers 12015 (hex 2e ef), 12016 (hex 2e f0), 12017 (hex 2e f1) to the decimal value of 123 (hex 00 7b) the display on the system changes to 123.
Now, please understand that I am not trying to claim to be some sort of genius or expert. I just read the manual for the system, I read a quick write-up on MODbus, I ordered in an off-the-shelf USB-to-MODbus converter, and I bought the software.
Believe me, I’m not trying to claim to be a “hacker” or a technician, or anything like that. I’m also not trying to pretend that I wrote the program, or designed the interface, or “cracked” the system.
I just followed the instructions. When things weren’t clear, or when I needed further information I went searching for it.
I often feel the need to make this clear and to make it understood that I am not trying to claim credit for anything. This is just the stupid shit that I do.
Now, before you ask why I don’t go get a diploma, or a certificate, or a TQ, realize that my depression, my anxiety, my ultra low self esteem, and my intense lack of self confidence have never been dealt with.
Pills, therapy, head shrinkers, magic crystals, tarot cards, and positive thoughts don’t do sweet fuck-all against untreated mental health issues.
And mental health issues can’t be dealt with so long as the Department of National Defence and the Canadian Armed Forces want to go out of their way to pretend that absolutely nothing occurred on Canadian Forces Base Namao from 1978 to 1980 and that I’m just a “societal malcontent with an axe to grind against the Canadian Armed Forces”.
Beeshive 