I wonder if the Chief of Defence Staff and the Vice-Chief of Defence Staff stop by for the birthday festivities.
Well, today marks my babysitter’s 60th birthday!
Happy birthday!
I don’t honestly know what he looks like now.
His younger brother and his older sister sure look happy for him though, eh?
And there’s the Canadian Armed Forces, still handling things for him all these years later.
I don’t know where his father is.
I wonder if the Vice Chief of Defence Staff or even the Chief of Defence Staff have sent him cards for his birthday.
Handling things for the babysitter and sealing the deal with a weird handshake and a pat on the bum
If I sound a little sarcastic or a little bitter, that’s ’cause I am.
Not a word of a lie, but I had no birthday parties from the time my mother was ejected from the PMQ on CFB Summerside by my father in 1977 until my birthday in 1985. And that one was so that my father could butter my ass up just in case civilian social services found out about his destructive blow-out in the PMQ in August of 1985.
He promised that he would never ever forget my birthday again.
There was no birthday in 1986.
1987 was going to be my 16th birthday. He promised that he was going to sign me up for and help me with paying for driving classes with Young Driver’s of Canada. Nope. Changed his mind. Whose car would I be driving? Sure as fuck wasn’t going to drive his ’83 Mustang. If I thought that he was going to buy me a car I had another fucking thing coming. I should go speak to that cheap bitch mother of mine and she could pay for the driving lessons and then buy me a fucking car, what has she ever paid.
He sent me a $100.00 gift card for the Old Spaghetti Factory in September of 2006. This was due to the fact that I had chewed him out in August of 2006 for all of the shit related to CFB Namao and the aftermath of CFB Namao.
So yeah, from 1977 until the asshole’s death in 2017 I had 2 birthday acknowledgments and one attack on my mother. That 2 years out of 40.
Meanwhile the babysitter’s father loves him. Blames the military for the way his son turned out.
The babysitter’s sister lied for him.
The babysitter’s younger brother lied for him.
Fuck, even the Canadian Armed Forces were handling things for the babysitter.
But what the hell, it’s his birthday, Happy Birthday!
Unless you’ve had first hand experience with the Canadian Forces Provost Marshal, or even the Canadian Armed Forces Military Police Group for that matter, you will never truly understand the ability of agencies such as the Canadian Armed Forces to define what the truth actually is.
Under the rules governing complaints about the Canadian Forces National Investigation Service a person wishing to make a complaint against the CFNIS must first submit the complaint to the provost marshal.
This would be the same provost marshal that oversaw the CFNIS investigation in the first place. Remember, no matter how the Canadian Forces, the provost marshal, or the CFNIS like to spin things, everyone within the Canadian Forces Military Police Group are subject to the Code of Service Discipline. Each and every member of the Canadian Forces Military Police Group must obey the “lawful” command of their superiors.
As a retired JAG practicing in Victoria BC told me to remember, members of the CFNIS are Soldiers First and police officers second.
So far as the provost marshal goes, the provost marshal has the sole discretion to control which documents the Military Police Complaints Commission receives and which documents are withheld from the Military Police Complaints Commission.
And during a review the MPCC cannot subpoena documents from the CFPM, the CFMPG, or the CFNIS. The MPCC literally has to reach their conclusions based upon the documents that were skillfully selected and submitted to the MPCC.
As there are absolutely no oaths administered during an MPCC review, the provost marshal has absolute free reign to lie to and feed bullshit to the MPCC and there are no penalties or sanctions that can be applied for this deceptive behaviour.
What information did the provost marshal intentionally withhold from the MPCC?
Canadian Forces Special Investigations Unit investigation investigation paperwork DS 120-10-80 which indicated that it was the babysitter’s sexual abuse of children on the base that initiated the investigation of captain McRae
The court martial transcripts from McRae’s court martial that described in detail one the penetrative assaults the babysitter committed on a trio of ten-year-old boys behind the rec centre.
I’d also bet the the CFPM also wouldn’t explain to the MPCC that their investigation was stymied by the fact that while they could lay charges against the babysitter, they wouldn’t be able to lay charges against Angus McRae due to the summary-investigation-flaw and the three-year-time-bar flaw.
The existence of the out-of-court settlement reached between the babysitter, the DOJ, the CAF, and the DND in November of 2008 which appears to have implications for any subsequent investigation of the babysitter.
The fact that a senior officer within the CFNIS Western Region told a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police that the investigation of my complaint “was likely to go nowhere due to a complete lack of evidence”. This was weeks before the CFNIS contacted my father, my brother, the babysitter, and the babysitter’s family. One of the babysitter’s replies to the CFNIS in 2011 was that “anything he had been involved in as a youth has already been handled by the military” and that if charges were brought against him “a lawyer would handle that”.
My social service records that indicated that I started having problems in school on CFB Namao. Behavioural problems are nothing unheard of with sexually abused children and dysfunctional households.
My social service records which also indicated that my grandmother was living with us on base and raising my brother and I. This was important as my father’s statement to the CFNIS in 2011 made it sound as if grandma popped in for a visit one weekend.
My social service records also indicated that my father was having anger issues and often had anger outbursts. My social service records also indicated that my father blamed my issues on my grandmother whom he viewed as “being cruel to his children, especially when she was intoxicated, which was quite frequently”, he would also tell social services that “his mother refused to seek treatment for her alcoholism”
And it wasn’t just the MPCC that the CFPM and the CFNIS lied to. The CFPM and the CFNIS had also lied to the Alberta Attorney General and the Alberta Crown Prosecutor. When the CFNIS submitted their summary to the Crown, they left out all of the above bullet points. However, in their summary to the Crown the CFNIS also “forgot” to mention to the Crown that I had tried twice before to report the sexual abuse to the military police.
All of this resulted in Mr. Weribiki observing that it was very significant that I had never told anyone about the abuse and that I had never tried to report the abuse in the previous 30 years. Who was I going to tell? My father who was frequently absent either on training exercises or living off base with his girlfriends? My “frequently cruel and intoxicated” grandmother who had an insane attachment to the catholic church? And I did try to report the abuse in 1984 and 1991.
My father’s statement was so detached from reality that when the CFNIS received a copy of my social service paperwork you would think that they would have gone back to my father and asked him to explain the horrific and glaring differences between his statement and the contents of my paperwork.
Nope, the CFNIS never approached him to explain the differences. Which leads me to believe that my father had been told what to say. Why would my father go along with what the CFNIS wanted? More than likely he had received some favour back in 1980 for agreeing to not make a fuss about his two sons being sexually abused. After all, if Mr. Gill had been at home on base with his kids instead of bringing his alcoholic mother on base to raise his kids in his absence, then his sons never would have been abused. So, I can see my father parroting whatever the CFNIS wanted him to say. Just like colonel Munro, captain McRae, and the various other men of ill intent, I don’t see why my father wouldn’t be willing to lie to save his own ass.
I know that at least one investigator with the CFNIS lied through his teeth when interviewed by the MPCC in 2012. This one investigator claimed that he had flown out to Victoria, BC to meet with me in person. The MPCC cited this as showing how the MPCC went above and beyond standard practice. The only problem is that I never net this investigator, nor have I ever met anyone from the CFNIS in person other than when I was interviewed in late March of 2011 by two investigators who had come to see me at the Vancouver Police Department Headquarters.
The sad thing is the members of the Canadian Forces Military Police group couldn’t tell the truth if they wanted to. They can only tell what the chain of command allows them to say. And the chain of command is full of sad sacks who believe that their primary function is to protect and shield the Canadian Armed Forces from outside scrutiny and criticism.
In 2006 the Canadian Forces Chaplaincy Branch issued a directive related to the release of baptismal records for military dependents that had been baptized by Canadian Forces chaplains on defence establishments. This memo indicated that the reason the rules for access to the baptism records was being restricted was due to the increasing number of child sexual abuse cases being brought against chaplains of the catholic church.
The one thing that I’ve learnt in my life is that the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence are so full of fucking shit that National Defence Headquarter in Ottawa must smell like a fucking latrine and the office of the provost marshal must smell like a port-a-potty that’s overflowing..
The sole job of the Canadian Forces Provost Marshal it seems would be to concoct lies and bullshit to feed to the Military Police Complaints Commission.
The Canadian Forces National Investigation Service and the Military Police seem to serve absolutely no other purpose than to ensure that the Canadian Armed Forces are never held to account for the actions of their members.
In 2011, even before I was interviewed by master corporal Robert John Hancock at Vancouver Police Department Headquarters, the CFNIS already had the May 1980 base military police paperwork, the June 1980 CFSIU investigation paperwork, and the 1980 courts martial transcripts of captain McRae in their possession. The 2011 investigation was doomed right from the start. The entire chain of command from the CFNIS commanding officer right on up to the Chief of Defence Staff would have known about the implications of the 1980 courts martial transcript.
However, the provost marshal willingly and intentionally withheld these documents from the Military Police Complaints Commission in 2012.
There is absolutely no way that the Canadian Armed Forces, the Department of National Defence, or the Judge Advocate General would have allowed the CFNIS to conduct an investigation that would have violated the terms of the NDA that exists between the babysitter and the DOJ, the DND, and the CAF. But how could the CFNIS outright refuse to conduct an investigation they knew they could never allow to come to fruition? They couldn’t refuse. What they could do though is a “Dog-n-Pony show” investigation.
Did the provost marshal forward to the Military Police Complaints Commission a copy of this out of court settlement so that the MPCC could review the settlement to ensure that the terms of the settlement didn’t violate my rights to receive justice?
Nope, instead the provost marshal willingly withheld the existence of the out of court settlement, the existence of an NDA, plus the existence of CFSIU DS 120-10-80 and the CM62 courts martial transcripts.
This way, the provost marshal could simultaneously blow sunshine up the asses of the MPCC while at the same time ensuring that the MPCC would never learn the truth about the 2011 investigation and how it was doomed even before it started.
The Supreme Court of Canada has already rendered decisions that speak to the inappropriateness of police agencies conducting investigations that may subject their superiors to either civil or criminal actions if the investigation were to uncover actions that could be expected to lead to civil or criminal actions. This is why when there’s an officer involved shooting or traffic collision, the police from other municipalities are called in to investigate.
The simple existence of a civil action against the Canadian Armed Forces by my babysitter and the existence of a subsequent settlement between my babysitter and the CAF and the DND means that the CFNIS should have handed this matter over to the RCMP.
If the 2011 investigation had indicated that the babysitter had in fact molested me and my brother, and that the CFSIU investigation paperwork from 1980 indicated the military police in 1980 were aware of this and either did nothing to stop it or were ordered by the chain of command to limit the 1980 investigation, initiating a civil action against the office of the Minister of National Defence would have been a very simple matter.
But, as the Military Police Complaints Commission itself indicated in one of the periodic reviews of Bill C25, the MPCC noted that the Vice Chief of Defence Staff functions as the de facto Chief of Police due to the chain of command. The Vice Chief of Defence staff has the ability to direct CFNIS investigations. The Vice Chief of Defence Staff also reports to the Minister of National Defence.
The way the Military Police Complaints Commission is structured it cannot subpoena documents during a review. And in fact, in 2015 it was revealed by then MPCC Chairperson, Glenn Stannard, that the Military Police Complaints Commission has never been briefed on how exactly the CFNIS or the Military Police function and how their chain of command is structured. As Mr. Stannard said, the MPCC wouldn’t really know what documents it could ask for if it was allowed to.
So, in 2011, the CFNIS conducted a “Dog ‘n’ Pony Show” investigation. An investigation meant to make me feel like the Canadian Armed Forces gave a fuck when the Canadian Armed Forces chain of command wanted the entire captain McRae matter to stay buried in the past.
What’s even worse is the Department of Justice assisted the Canadian Armed Forces with stick handling their lies past a federal court judge.
In 2013 when I stood pleading my issue before a federal court justice, the Military Police Complaints Commission was represented by the Department of Justice. This is the same Department of Justice that represented the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence when both agencies were being sued by my babysitter in a civil action he filed in March of 2001. The DOJ knew full well what the DND, the CAF, and the CFPM were doing, but the DOJ just stood back and did nothing as doing nothing ensured that the terms of the settlement with the babysitter would not be violated.
The DOJ could have done the right and proper thing back in 2013 and informed the courts that the CFNIS and the provost marshal had intentionally and wilfully withheld documents from the Military Police Complaints Commission that would have shown that the CFNIS in 2011 was very well aware that it was the acts of the babysitter sexually abusing children on the base that brought the babysitter to the attention of the base military police which in turn initiated the investigation that uncovered the fact that Canadian Armed Forces officer captain father Angus McRae had in fact been molesting numerous children at the base chapel and was known to be giving the children he was molesting alcohol before “fooling around with them” in the rectory of the base chapel.
But, we now know that the provost marshal has the ability to blow sunshine up the ass of the Military Police Complaints Commission and that even if the DOJ is well aware of the wrongdoings of the Canadian Armed Forces, the DOJ would rather turn a blind eye to the truth in order to shield the government from responsibility and liability.
Now, I can hear you thinking to yourself “But Bobbie, why wouldn’t the CFNIS want to get you justice in this matter?”
As I’ve said previously, the Canadian Armed Forces cannot prosecute for service offences that occurred prior to 1998. And service offences that occurred on defence establishments could only be tried via the military justice system unless the accused specifically requested a civilian trial. Back in the day everything on the base was the jurisdiction of the military justice system.
The simple matter is that due to the 3-year-time-bar that existed prior to 1998, no matter of child sexual abuse that occurred on the bases and was committed by a person subject to the code of service discipline could ever be prosecuted in the modern day.
Think back and try to remember how many successful prosecutions there have been in civilian courts for service offences that occurred prior to 1998.
“But Bobbie, your complaint was against the babysitter, not military personnel”.
Again, the CFNIS knew of the direct connection between captain McRae and his altar boys, one of whom was my babysitter. And captain McRae was still alive at the commencement of the 2011 investigation. As the CFNIS had full access to the base military police paperwork and the CFSIU investigation paperwork, they would have known that the babysitter had been molesting various children on base.
Sure, there was nothing stopping the CFNIS from bringing charges against my babysitter. But in doing so the CFNIS, the CAF, the DND, and the DOJ would possiby be violating the terms of the settlement reached between my babysitter and the aforementioned parties when the DOJ moved to settle in November of 2008.
What were the provisions of the settlement?
The settlement is covered by a Non-Disclosure Agreement.
I’ll bet you one-thousand dollars that the provost marshal in 2011 didn’t tell the military police complaints commission in 2012 that the 2011 investigation conducted by the CFNIS of the babysitter was hampered by a settlement and subsequent non-disclosure agreement that protected the babysitter from further investigation and prosecution for his actions on CFB Namao which he committed after his 14th birthday on June 20th, 1979. After all, the babysitter wasn’t just going after my brother and I. The babysitter abused children on subsequent bases that his father was transferred to.
There had to be a reason why petty officer Steve Morris told me on November 4th that the CFNIS “just couldn’t find any evidence that the babysitter was capable of what I accused him of”
There also had to be a reason why the CFNIS told an RCMP officer that my complaint against the babysitter “was likely to go nowhere due to a complete lack of evidence”. This was months before the CFNIS talked to my father, my brother, or even the babysitter.
Oh, there was evidence. There was tons of evidence. It was all there in the CFSIU paperwork and the courts martial transcripts.
But the provost marshal knew that they could hide this information from the Military Police Complaints Commission.
And the Canadian Armed Forces and the Department of National Defence both knew that the Department of Justice had locked this matter down securely with an iron clad NDA.
And both the Official Secrets Act and the Security of Information Act ensure that anything anyone wants to say is kept a secret.
Everyone knows the truth, nobody wants to tell the truth, the MPCC can’t discover the truth, and the media doesn’t care about the truth.
It was on June 17th back in 2021 that my class action was announced to the media.
What’s happened in the meantime?
Not much.
I wasn’t kidding when I said that the Department of Justice was going to do everything possible to run the clock out on this matter. The DOJ always does this. And it’s not in just my matter. The DOJ makes a habit of doing this in almost matters in which the Government of Canada or its minions have caused a major fuckup.
The DOJ isn’t about holding the government accountable for its misdeeds. The DOJ is about shielding the government from responsibility for the misdeeds of its minions.
Apparently there is a court session coming up in January of 2026 that I will have to attend in Calgary. Don’t get too excited. This hearing is still trying to decide if I can be the representative plaintiff in this matter.
Yep, January 2026 will be heading into the 5th year anniversary and there still hasn’t been any discussion as to the merits of this case. We’re still stuck at the stage of seeing if I can represent the class.
I don’t know how many hearings after the 2026 hearing there will be, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the DOJ will milk this out for as long as possible.
The goal of the DOJ will be to drag this matter out for so long that all of the former brats from CFB Namao that were abused by McRae and his underlings will be dying off from old age.
I have no intention of existing past 2027.
I’ll be gone in 2027 either by M.A.i.D. in 2027 or by other arrangements. But I’m not sticking around for this shit.
No that my brother is gone I’ve got even less reasons to stick around. It’s not so much that I miss him, Richard didn’t raise us like that. It’s that I’ll never get to see the acknowledgement in his eyes that I wasn’t the bad guy in all of this.
My father, Richard, died back in 2017. Didn’t give a fuck in 2019 when Scott told me about his death, and I still don’t give a fuck to this day. But what pisses me off is he got to the finish line wearing all of the respect that being a former member of the Canadian Forces bestowed upon him no matter the truth that he was a waste of oxygen who blamed everyone else for his problems and his lack of parenting skills.
And not to toot my own horn, but without me this case goes nowhere.
It took an intense amount of reading and learning to understand the military justice system as it was prior to 1998 and the flaws that impacted the military justice system prior to 1998. This is why the DOJ doesn’t want me as the representative plaintiff.
The DOJ would much prefer having someone that believes that the military police functioned just like the civilian police at a local civilian police department.
They sent me here to rest to get the weight off of my chest while they work 9 to 5 cheat on husbands and wives and tell me I’m the one who’s depressed
And I’m left to define what’s insane to the same folks who jailed Galileo and explain him away
They who are we who are wondering which one of us is free
free
free
free
I went places you just don’t go I saw things you can’t tell them you know And if they’re smiling stark naked sometimes is just wiser to compliment the cut of their clothes And know they define what’s insane based upon what makes them look good at the end of the day
They who are we who are wondering which one of us is free
free
free
free
But I’m the one chained to the bed That’s just proof I got into their heads And I witnessed their colourless landscapes Saw the lovers who were too bored to stay And walked the grey roads of their memories that just stop at the end of the page They’re a little too sad to hate They’re just children who ran out of paint
I’m up for review in a month and I’ll watch them drink water from crystalline glasses They’ll sit and stare like smoke damaged chairs around a smouldering pile of ashes And I’ll try to define what’s insane to the same folks who consistently kill those with something to say
They who are we who are wondering which one of us is free.
It was back in the winter of 1987 when I had learnt that Scott had impersonated me for the first time.
I had been a member of the Royal Canadian Sea Cadets at the Dennison Armouries on Dufferin and Wilson since the fall of 1984. I had achieved the rank of leading cadet, and with the exception of the ongoing issues involving Mr. Stevens, everything was looking up.
This was a Wednesday night parade night when the executive officer A/Slt John Potter pulled me aside and told me that my father wanted my brother Scott to join my corp. Mr. Potter said that he didn’t want my brother anywhere near the cadet corp.
I told Mr. Potter that there wasn’t anything that I would be able to do. If Richard wanted Scott in cadets, then Scott was going to be in cadets. And I knew better than to ask Richard to not let Scott join my corp. If Richard thought that I wasn’t sticking up for Scott then I was in for one fuck of a beating when I got back on base.
Don’t forget, in the fall of 1983, the North York Board of Education had to separate my brother and I and send us to separate schools due to “intense sibling rivalry”.
By the time 1987 rolled around, that “rivalry” only got much worse. Both Richard and Sue had washed their hands of any responsibility for Scott, and anytime that Scott got in trouble with the Toronto Police Service it was my fault for not looking after him.
Mr. Potter took me outside of the armouries and let me have a smoke.
“Bob, do you understand the trouble that your brother gets in to?”
All I could do is sigh. Nobody knew about CFB Namao. All I needed was for Mr. Potter to find out the truth about CFB Namao and myself, that I was some crazed homosexual that made the babysitter abuse his younger brother. And to make matters even worse were the ongoing events with Mr. Stevens, which would have surely cemented my status as a perverted homosexual.
“Bob, you know that I work with troubled youth, right?”
I didn’t pay much attention other than I was trying to hold back the tears. I loved cadets, but here was Richard trying to fuck me over. I was envisioning Scott joining cadets and fucking up and getting into trouble and then Richard blaming me for not looking after Scott.
“Bob, two weeks ago I was dealing with a couple of teens from a group home that had been arrested for B&Es when I overheard that my star cadet had been arrested for theft of a car.”
You think that I stole a car?
“No Bob. It was your brother. When I heard that ‘you’ had stolen a car I had to go see this for myself. I didn’t recognize the kid in the interview room. So I asked the officer what the kid’s name was. The officer gave me your full name, your social insurance number, and your date of birth”
Oh, don’t worry, my father will say that it was my fault that he stole the car.
“Your brother wasn’t too happy with me when I told the investigator that I knew who that name and D.O.B. belonged to”
How did you find out that it was Scott. I know at least 3 of his friends that would give false names if they were arrested.
“When your father came to pick him up. Your father seemed very reluctant to give the police your brother’s name. Your father didn’t seem too concerned about what Scott had done in either stealing the car or using your name”
I lit up a second smoke. And you think that I can tell my father to not let Scott join my corp. Scott’s the little angel that can’t do anything wrong. No matter what the fuck he does, Richard and Sue blame me.
“I don’t mind working with kids that get into trouble Bob. Kids fuck up. Kids need help. But, your brother is different. He won’t admit that he’s done wrong”
Welcome to my life Mr. Potter. Anything that he’s done is my fault. Richard said that it’s my fault for not looking after him.
“Then it’s settled, just tell your father that you don’t feel comfortable with your brother in the corp. Ask your father to send your brother to another cadet corp. Preferably at a different location.”
He wasn’t listening. Just alike all of the other adults in my life up to that point in time. Just in one ear and out the other.
I went back in to the armouries, got my stuff, and left even through classes were about to begin.
I showed up the next week and got a demerit for leaving without permission the week before.
And the following week my brother showed up as a new entry.
Not too long later the CFB Borden event occurred.
And then between home life on Canadian Forces Base Downsview, the ongoing matter with Mr. Stevens, and Mr. Potter’s misdirected displeasure for not dissuading my father from making Scott join my corp., I quit cadets.
How many other times in my life did Scott impersonate me? I don’t know. Sure, finger printing should have easily cleared up any criminal investigation. But there are many types of investigations that wouldn’t necessarily result in finger prints being taken but that would tag my name and D.O.B. in these investigations.
I know that on New Year’s Eve 2000 in Vancouver, my brother gave my name and my D.O.B. when he was found riding without a fare on the Skytrain.
I only know this because the fine for this went to collections in 2006.
I get a call from a collections agency asking when I wanted to resolve the $40 fine.
I asked them for a copy of the ticket, so they sent me a copy of the ticket that was issued
It was my D.O.B. and my full complete name. The address was fake, but the postal code for the area of the address had the address actually existed was correct. The box on the ticket that said “ID Produced” was checked “N” meaning that the person giving my name didn’t produce any ID. There was a second piece of paper signed by another fare inspector stating that they witnessed the person using my name refuse to sign the fare evasion ticket.
As ICBC was responsible for the ticket in the first place, I had to go through their dispute process. They asked me why they should believe me that this wasn’t my fare evasion ticket.
Simple.
I was working from 22:00 on December 31st, 1999 until 06:00 January 1st, 2000 for a property management company downtown Vancouver as we had to be on standby for the much overblown “Y2K” bug that was expected to plunge the world into chaos. We had to be in the buildings to ensure that the automation systems didn’t crash.
And I lived in the West End of Vancouver, so being on the Skytrain heading out to Surrey at 00:30 made no sense.
“That might work for your name, but how did they get your social insurance number?”
I had been mugged in Vancouver in July of 1995. My wallet was stolen. Maybe whoever stole it used my SIN?
The collections was cancelled. But I get the sense that ICBC and Translink have a folder on hand with my name in it waiting for me to pull another fare evasion so they can jump up and down screaming “We knew you lied!!!!”.
Prior to September 11th, 2001 I had frequently crossed into the United States. I’d driven down from Vancouver. I’d taken the bus down from Vancouver. I’d even walked across land crossings numerous times.
But after 9/11 when crossing the border placed one under extreme scrutiny I didn’t dare cross. Even though I knew in 2006 that it was probably Scott that had used my name, I couldn’t prove it so I didn’t push it. But outside of Mr. Potter, other people had told me at various times that Scott had claimed to be me.
And no matter how much I wanted to drop down to Portland or Seattle for a weekend, I didn’t want to run the risk that Scott had used my name and got into some sort of trouble that would have made crossing the border impossible at the least or a criminal affair at the most.
I had my passport since 2010. But I still didn’t try to cross the border.
I wouldn’t cross the border until 2013 when I was in Ottawa Ontario to drop off a letter at National Defence Headquarters. A childhood friend of mine from CFB Shearwater lived in Ottawa at the time. She wanted to meet up while I was in Ottawa. She planned a day trip for us and her sister to go to Boldt Island in New York State. Fuck was I ever nervous at the border crossing.
Nothing strikes fear into me like “Have you ever been arrested”. This doesn’t mean arrested and charged, or arrested and convicted. This means just arrested. And this also includes “has there ever been an arrest warrant issued for you”, meaning has there ever been an arrest warrant issued in your name.
Border agents don’t often have hours to sit down and listen to 40 years of a fucked up life.
I have no fucking idea of where Scott used my name.
I know that he used my name back in 1987 related to car theft charges.
I know that he used my name on January 1st, 2000 for a fare evasion ticket.
Where the fuck else has he used my identity?
Do I blame Scott for using my identity?
Not really.
Richard and Sue taught Scott that he really wasn’t responsible for anything, that everything was all my fault. So it only follows that he would take the next step and not just blame me but transfer the trouble to me.
Hit me up with the Midazolam, propofol, rocuronium, and bupivacaine. It’s been an interesting life, but I’m tired of all of this horseshit.
Back around the end of June in ’82 my father had borrowed a pickup truck with a camper in the bed from one of his buddies at 447 Sqn. so that he and his new wife, my stepmother, could go to Banff for their honeymoon.
Slide-in camper / Demountable camper.
They had no intention of taking Scott and I with them. We got unceremoniously dropped of with out mother in Calgary, AB. Yeah, the same mother that he told Alberta Social Services that had abandoned the family and that the same mother that he had told Alberta Social Services that he had no idea of how to contact.
When Richard and Sue were finished with their honeymoon they swung back through Calgary to pick Scott and I up. We drove back up to CFB Griesbach in Edmonton.
The truck was parked on the street in front of the PMQ.
Richard had gone somewhere and it was just Sue at home.
Scott got on top of the camper and stuffed the vents with leaves.
Just before Richard was due home Scott found me and told me that Richard was going to be pissed off with me for “me” having put the leaves into the vent on the camper.
I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about, so I went to check out the camper.
I looked at the camper from the outside and I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about, but once I opened the back door and climbed inside the camper I saw what he was talking about. The wind-up vent was plugged full of leaves. There was no way that Richard wasn’t going to notice this.
So, up on the roof I went.
Tim’s truck was a raised 4X4 with proper off road tires. With the camper on the back the roof had to be about 3 metres off the ground.
I got all of the leaves cleared out. It was spick and span.
I went to climb down the ladder and I lost my footing.
I landed on the ground flat on my back.
I had the wind knocked out of me and all I could see was stars.
It took so much effort to start to breathe again.
One of the locals came over and helped me up and walked me back to the PMQ where Sue was.
Sue sent me up to my room with the warning that Richard was not going to be happy when he got home.
When Richard got home he was none too pleased to find what had happened. The fact that I did something stupid that could get him in trouble with his commanding officer showed that I didn’t care about his military career.
The fact that I allowed Scott out of my sight meant that Scott could have fallen off the roof of the camper.
The fact that I wasn’t responsible enough to look after my brother meant thatI should take this as a lesson and learn from this.
My left wrist was burning. My right hand was swollen, numb, and immovable. But neither were anything compared to the headache and vomiting.
My father gave me some of his 222s to help me sleep.
Two days went by and then he took me to the Charles Camsell hospital in Edmonton to get my wrists looked at.
That’s when it was discovered that I wasn’t faking anything.
A couple of the larger bones in my right wrist were fractured. My left wrist had hairline fractures and was sprained.
The headaches and the vomiting had stopped by this point so I don’t think that Richard had mentioned anything to the doctors.
I can’t remember what Richard told the doctors, but I know he didn’t mention anything about falling off campers.
My left wrist got wrapped in a tensor. My right arm was set in a cast.
For illustrative purposes only
Did you know that it’s almost impossible to wipe your own ass when your dominant hand is set in an arm cast? My left arm wasn’t much use either. Hairlines are really super sensitive to force.
I wasn’t Sue’s kid, so that was out of the question. After Richard and Sue got married Sue wasted no time in telling Scott and I that we were to address her as Sue only that we were never to call her “mom” or refer to her as our “mother”. So yeah, wiping my ass wasn’t on her list of agreed upon tasks.
Richard only kept my brother and I because “it was cheaper than paying child support”. Wiping my ass was not very high on his list of priorities.
And as much as I feared my grandmother, she had moved out of the PMQ back in the spring of 1981. Walking from the PMQ at 10215 – 138 Ave over to my grandmother’s apartment at 10611 – 111th St. to get my butt wiped wasn’t in the cards.
Many creative ways were tried and tested to wipe my ass that didn’t involve using my hands.
The cast was only supposed to stay on my right arm for six weeks, but it ended up staying on for the entire summer as Richard insisted that this was the best way to teach me to not fuck around.
I would have to say that my mental health is probably the single most significant sacrifice that I’ve made. Sure, this wasn’t a conscious sacrifice that I made, it was more of a sacrifice that was made for me, but sure.
Most of my “sacrifices” were predetermined for me.
But let’s roll with them being willing sacrifices.
What gives me direction in life is cleaning my name before I die.
That’s it
That’s all
The only thing keeping me alive at the moment is knowing that if I do die then the Canadian Armed Forces win be default.
Other than that I have no direction in life.
It’s not an obsession.
It’s all that I have
Ever since colonel Daniel Edward Munro signed his name to captain McRae’s charge sheet in June of 1980 dominoes were being set up, one by one, day by day, year by year, until March of 2011.
In March of 2011, after reviewing the 1980 CFSIU investigation paperwork and the transcripts from captain McRae’s court martial, it was the Canadian Armed Forces itself that knocked the first domino over.
The Canadian Armed Forces had the ability to do the right thing in 1980.
They chose not to.
The Canadian Armed Forces had the ability to do the right thing in 2011.
They chose not to.
The RCMP urged the Canadian Armed Forces to do the right thing in 2015.
The Canadian Armed Forces still chose not to.
After the release of the courts martial transcripts and the CFSIU investigation paperwork in 2020 the Canadian Armed Forces could have done the right thing.
The Canadian Armed Forces still chose not to.
Is it my job to bring to light all of the pre-1998 subterfuge that the Canadian Armed Forces have been allowed hide due to the flaws that existed in the pre-1998 National Defence Act?
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
If a member of the Canadian public wants to stick their nose into criminal code offence events that occurred prior to November of 1997, knock yourself out. Have at it.
Is it my job to make sure that people understand that I didn’t want the abuse on CFB Namao, that I didn’t want the babysitter to abuse my brother, that I had nothing to do with the babysitter molesting the little six-year-old blond haired girl?
That’s my job.
Is it my job to make sure that people understand that the CFSIU knew in 1980 that Captain McRae had been running a kiddie diddling ring on the base right under the nose of the base military police and that the CFSIU and the chain of command knew that McRae had been molested a great number of children on the base but that parents were reluctant to let their children be interviewed due to the view of the military police that captain McRae had been committing “acts of homosexuality” with the children that he was molesting thus implying that their children had been participating in “acts of homosexuality”?
Yes, that’s my job.
Is it my job to point out to people in the civilian world that “lawful” commands by superiors also include superiors instructing subordinates to not talk to the military police?
That’s already public knowledge, so not really my job.
Is it my job to make sure that the public understands that an untold number of children living on the bases were “involved with” the military social workers and that these social workers had a very negative and detrimental effect on the mental health and wellbeing of these abused children?
Yes, that’s my job.
I can’t fix all of the fuck-ups that the Canadian Armed Forces were allowed to keep hidden from the public eye via the National Defence Act, the Official Secrets Act, and the Security of Information Act.
But, I can at least do what I can to clean my name before I die.
Thankfully sanity prevailed and the conservatives were defeated.
Trump thought that he had a sure thing going with Poilievre, but Trump’s constant ramblings about Canada becoming the 51st state alarmed everyone in Canada that wasn’t a follower of the Conservative / Reform / Alliance Party.
Canadians turned out in droves and handed the Conservatives a well deserved defeat. Could have been a much better defeat, but with American fake newz and American social media filling the minds of so many vulnerable people in Canada I take what we got.
The NDP almost evaporated, but this was expected to happen after the NDP abandoned their typical pro-labour, left-of-centre politics and tried to become a centrist party.
This wouldn’t be the first time a federal party imploded during an election.
The Conservatives were annihilated in October of 1993 after Lyin’ Brian destroyed the Canadian manufacturing sector with NAFTA. The ink had barely dried on Brian’s double cross when American based manufacturers started closing down their Canadian subsidiaries and moving the operations and the jobs to low wage paying states.
While NAFTA may have been great for the boys and girls on Bay Street, it was a massive knife in the back to the thousands of workers in southern Ontario that found themselves unemployed with very little prospect of employment.
The implosion of the Conservative party is what allowed the Albertan separatist parties to go from being niche parties to getting a foothold in federal politics. Today’s Conservative party is only Conservative in name. The Conservative party from the pre- Lyin’ Brian days no longer exists. The Conservative Party of Canada is now a religious theocratic separatist party.
For me the outcome of the election was a good thing as it allows Medical Assistance in Dying for mental health to proceed. If everything goes as proposed then M.A.i.D. MISUMC will become legal on March 17th, 2027.
It’s been a little on the nerve wracking side for these last few weeks.
It was bad enough in 2023 and 2024 having the carrot of M.A.i.D. dangled in front of my face only to have it yanked out of my reach because the Liberals feared the uniformed populace that was falling prey to the misinformation presented by those on the right and by the various “astroturf” campaigns funded by American dark money.
To have a small but vocal minority of Canadians clamouring for American style politics and ideologies to be brought north of the border was disturbing.
To find out that a portion of Canadians love Donald Trump and everything that Donald Trump represents was repulsive.
Had the Conservative party of Canada won, then Medical Assistance in Dying for Mental Illness as the Sole Underlying Medical Condition would have been out the door. In fact, M.A.i.D. for any reason would have probably been rescinded.
But, thankfully the CPC didn’t win.
Trump’s endorsement of Pierre Poilievre was the kiss of death for the CPC.
No, I didn’t vote for the Liberals.
I wasn’t actually going to vote at all in this election as there wasn’t a party running that I thought reflected my views. Then I realized that the next federal election won’t be until 2029. And if everything works out the way I hope it works out in 2027, then this is my last federal election.
So, I plugged my nose and cast a vote for the NDP.
I usually vote NDP provincially and Liberal federally. But when it comes to the Federal NDP they’ve never really appealed to me as they seem to be the centrist party that nobody has ever asked for.
But, with the complete lack of support that Hedy Fry has shown towards persons who were sexually abused as children by members of the Canadian Armed Forces, and with her complete lack of support for Medical Assistance in Dying for persons suffering from Mental Illness, there was no way that I could continue to support her.
Beeshive 