I think that I am the most happiest when I am asleep and dreaming.
In dreamland I can be anything I want and I can make my reality into anything that I want.
I am also happy when I think about my death.
I know that it may sound odd, but the thought of the peaceful slip into the dark abyss of nothingness appeals to me. It’s something that I want and it’s something that I crave.
To not ever feel anything, or to be aware of anything, or to remember anything, this would make me happy.
Well, it wouldn’t really make me happy.
Yes, in death I would never experience happiness, joy, sunshine, or other pleasant things.
But I wouldn’t exist any more so it’s not like I would have any form of awareness as to what I am missing out on.
And by not existing any longer I wouldn’t be forced to remember all of the shit that I’ve been through.
Dreamland is nice, but it doesn’t last. Every morning that I wake up is another day of never ending suffering.
And that’s why the thought of my death makes me happy.
Beeshive 