One thing that I have realized is that people living in our society really don’t have as much control over their lives as people believe that they do.
For some reason people have more control over the lives of others that they do over their own.
I don’t remember being asked if I’d like to be born.
My parents were horny, they fucked, he ejaculated and didn’t pull out, and nine months later I popped out.
Did I ask to be born to two parents that were already suffering mental illnesses? My father battling depression and alcoholism, my mother suffering from anxiety.
Did I ask to be born to an alcoholic father?
Did I ask to be raised by a residential school survivor who had her own severe mental health issues?
And puhlease, don’t tell me that I should be happy that I was blessed with the miracle of life.
There’s over 7.8 billion people on the face of the planet.
Pregnancy, birth, and life are not a “miracle”.
And if your argument is that I should be happy that I don’t live in an underdeveloped country, well fuck you. I live in this country. I was raised in this country. I was abused by fellow citizens of this country. I was fucked over by institutions of this country. You don’t get to negate the shit I live through by erecting fanciful strawmen and bad faith fallacies.
Contrary to the teachings of Captain Terry Totzke and master corporal Richard Gill, I didn’t deserve the sexual abuse from Captain McRae and his teenage accomplice, P.S.
And contrary to the opinions of Captain Terry Totzke and my father, I didn’t deserve 2-1/2 years of conversion therapy.
I was a concious decision of Captain Totzke to deny my of the treatments I required for my mental health issues.
Sure, Totzke may have only been following the orders of his superiors. But he still made a decision. I had no say in the matter.
My father went along with the decision to deny me my treatment. Yeah, sure, Totzke outranked my father, but my father still had choices at his disposal. He made a choice to play along.
When my father had his meltdown in the PMQ on Canadian Forces Base Downsview in Ontario, somebody within the military police made the decision to not notify the Metropolitan Toronto Police Service thereby ensuring that Richard’s inability to control his anger wouldn’t be reported to the Children’s Aid Society of Toronto.
Somebody in the Canadian Forces chain of command made the conciousous decision to run a “dog & pony show” investigation in 2011. Somebody made this decision even though they knew full well that due to limited resources, only victims of crimes have access to mental heatlh treatments.
Somebody in the Canadian Forces chain of command made the conciousous decision to hide the information contained in the CFSIU DS 120-10-80 investigation paperwork from the Alberta Crown prosecutor in 2011 thereby forcing the Alberta Crown to make a horrific decision.
Somebody in the Canadian Forces chain of command decided to hide the existence of CFSIU DS 120-10-80 from the Military Police Complaints Commission in 2012 thereby ensuring that the MPCC wouldn’t discover until 2020 that the CFNIS in 2011 knew all about the criminal exploits of P.S..
Somebody in the Office of the Judge Advocate General made the decision to not allow the CFNIS to talk to former base commander Daniel Edward Munro in 2017 due to the inability to lay charges against Munro due to the 3-year-time-bar that existed only in the military prior to 1998.
So, as you can see, a lot of people made decisions for me or they made decisions that directly affected me.
Hopefully I get to make the one decision that I should be allowed to make, and that is to end my life through Medical Assistance in Dying.
Beeshive 