Man, I wish I were dumb.

So, without saying too much, I got involved with something at work ꝥ someone like me should not have gotten involved with.

Yes, I know, the red pump running indicators aren’t working. That’ll have to wait until I get back from vacation. Monday and Tuesday were super busy with me getting things in place for my vacation.

And I keep getting involved with stuff like this even though it’s part of the root of whats wrong with me.

See, a person ꝥ is as dumb and as stupid as I am isn’t supposed to function at this level. And with me functioning at this level it drives a sense of resentment from others ꝥ have the same qualification as I do because apparently I am intentionally keeping my knowledge of how to do these things away from them so ꝥ I can make myself look superior.

4th class power engineers aren’t supposed to be able to do this.

4th class power engineers aren’t supposed to be able to do IP networking, or set up VPNs, or set up NATs, or fibre optic network bridges, or expand BACnet networks and administer BACnet graphical front ends.

All I can do is begrudgingly participate in these projects knowing ꝥ if I don’t ꝥ I’ll be labeled as a troublemaker or selfish.

I really hate getting attacked at work for “hoarding” my knowledge, and not teaching everyone how to do what I can do. I guess ꝥ the general assumption is ꝥ if someone as dysfunctional and damaged as I am can do this work, then gosh darn it anyone can be shown how to do this work.